An Indian woman's sojourn in the West

International Women's day focuses on lives of women around the world and as an Indian woman who migrated to the UK, I reflect on how life changes for women like me. Right at the outset, I must say that east or west, life has its ups and downs and not for a minute do I imply that one is better than the other.
As a woman, the biggest change on moving westwards from India, is finding that people do not interfere in your life.No intrusive questions are asked about your marital status. No one asks 'when is the good news?' no one wants to know when you are having children or why you haven't had any or why you have only one child or why you don't have a son. No one asks what you have made for dinner or why you have cooked merely a one-pot dish or why your chapatis are not round enough or why you buy ready made chapatis.
There is undeniable freedom that comes with moving westwards. Freedom to dress as one pleases, with no accompanying stares or judgmental remarks is a new feeling. Unless one does something extreme, no body gives a second look. Freedom to go out and not be met by eve teasers is a relief. The term 'eve teasing' is almost unknown in the west. Coming from India, where we women tolerate this routinely, one is constantly guarded, anticipating this menace at every nook and corner. In the west, at first, one expects whistles, hoots, lewd songs, and catcalls but there are surprising, none. Only a woman can understand the liberation that comes with living freely, without constant fear of being at the receiving end of such negative attention. Of course, there are unsafe places, where men are just as vulnerable as women. But 'eve teasing' is unknown.
There are no special concessions for women as we have in India. No separate ladies' compartments, segregated queues or reserved seats for women in public transport. However, pregnant women and those with young children are given special seating and even strangers will help carry a pram up or down a staircase. But there is no other special treatment because you are a woman. From filling petrol in the car to assembling furniture, women are expected to get on and just do it. Women drive double decker buses and trains, work as traffic wardens and as hairdressers in unisex salons. Likewise, men are seen in roles that we do not often see in India, such as in nursing.
Indian women in India are heavily dependent on their maids but in the west, doing the housework without a maid is an agonizing change for many women. However, the husbands learn to help out in equal measure, which is a huge plus.
In the west, there is loneliness during illness or when children need caring. Unless one builds a support system of friends and neighbours, it is hard to cope. With few relatives around and parents or in-laws who are occasional visitors, it can be very tough for a woman to juggle life's challenges in the west. Having a baby without the support of parents or in laws is tough. No special post-natal massages or post-delivery diet or protective confinement for mother and child, like we have in India. Medical conditions like eczema, cradle cap, glue ear and food allergies that are unheard of in India, baffle first time mothers. Without family help, women have to depend heavily on babysitters, child-minders and after-school clubs, whereas in India, one would quite often rely on the older generation to help out.
Whether life is better in one part of the world or the other is debatable. But wherever we are, we women deserve respect and practices like eve teasing, which are taken for granted in India, should not be tolerated. On Women's day, if we can resolve to do that in whatever way we can, it will make the world a better place.