The changing idiom of Indian politics

I am an avid TV watcher. Like everybody else, I too look to the TV for information as well as entertainment. Typically, the time divided between the two used to be roughly a half and half. However, lately, I realize that I am watching less of entertainment channels, for the news channels have become a package of not only information and entertainment, but also much needed education.Mine, that is. They are contributing to my general knowledge and enhancing my awareness.
For one thing, I am able to improve my vocabulary. For example, till recently, my political lexicon used to be very staid and uninspiring. There were many anachronistic words and phrases like public interest, social justice, equality, commitment, responsibility, honesty and the like, which the modern politicians would scoff at. Anyone who uses them today is looked down upon as living in the Jurassic age.
Some perfectly harmless words have acquired bizarre political connotations in the current political idiom. For example, the word 'socialism' is an abuse, and a 'socialist' a sinner. One has to be, since he/she talk of absurd things like people's right to equality, right to life, and right to live with dignity. If and when the situation warrants, such people may safely be called 'extremists'. Anyone who fights for human rights may be branded a Naxalite or better still, a Maoist, if the situation warrants it. If push comes to a shove, they may be termed 'enemies of the state'. A person who talks of the 'law of the land' is an 'obstructionist' and 'negative'. One who talks of environment is 'anti-development' and hence, a persona non-grata. Secularism is another politically incorrect word; the moment you utter it you stand branded. You see what I mean?
Then there are some interesting new expressions which have come into vogue lately; they are comprehensible to the political class, but not to you and I. One such colorful word I picked up is 'setting...'. It neither indicates a scene, a locale, a venue or a background as in the dictionary, nor is it a movie setting. It means political collusion. When two political parties (normally warring), arrive at an amicable understanding (of politico-economic nature) to great mutual advantage, you can say a setting has been 'achieved'. Thus, a setting indicates a happy compromise for the purpose of winning elections and reaping the spoils there of.
Another expression with hidden meanings is, 'brazen it out'. The dictionary meaning of 'brazen' is shameless, unashamed, brash or blatant. In our political parlance, however, it means "you have done something terribly terribly wrong and shameful, but do not feel guilty. Instead, be defiant and aggressively so!" See how eloquent the phrase is?
There are other bits of information one gets from the TV. Did you know that our politicians are falling victims to strange and mysterious diseases? We are aware that the mother of all diseases that strikes mankind is money-phelia, the love of money. When ordinary people are struck by it, the disease tapers off with age and maturity; but with politicians it is an affliction of a lifetime. With them, it only gets worse with age, and defies cure, the poor lot!
One of the symptoms of this disease in politicians is that it leads to a terrible itch. The itch is so strong that it drives the victims to do ridiculous things. The patients suffer from an uncharacteristic and obsessive desire to serve the people, preferably the poor, the downtrodden, and the deprived. Age and sex are no bar to this terrible condition, we learn.
The victims feverishly kiss bawling babies, hug smelly old women, break bread with slum-dwellers and even sleep with them, covered by their bug infested blankets. The ailment reaches a crescendo as the elections approach and makes the candidates give away fistfuls of currency notes (without a care for themselves), liquor, saries and even expensive TVs and computers. The other endemic ailments are amnesia, both selective and total and, myopia, of ditto nature, not to mention bloated egos coupled with diminished scruples. A scary disease, wouldn't you say?
There are also a variety of fevers which are both endemic and cyclic; the latter rage during the election season. The foremost among them is the 'safe-seat-fever'. The victims pull their hair and bite their nails in search of safe seats. Such is the rush for safe seats that there is a terrible shortage of them in the country. The other fever is of horrific proportions; it is called party-hopping-fever, where the afflicted take to frenzied hopping, better than kangaroos. In the rush of things, my worry is that both the parties and the candidates forget which party they belong to (not that it matters)! Imagine our/their embarrassment if they show up in public, wearing the wrong color, let's say a saffron instead of a tricolor, or a pink and not a yellow? After all, old habits die hard, right? This fever, coupled with amnesia, makes the victims forget whom they abused just the day before and drives them to embrace arch rivals, in a paroxysmic desire to serve the people. Such is the effect of this terrible ague.
In Andhra, this ague takes a different form. It becomes 'serve-the-people-of-Vizag' fever. Stricken by it, MP aspirants of all hues and persuasions make a beeline to the city. They literally fall over one another to represent us (lucky we!) What is this great attraction that Visakhapatnam holds for the MP wannabes? Cynics blame it on the winnability of the seat, and on the meek 'bakra-like' nature of Vizagites. For all the enthusiasm that the non-resident MP candidates display to serve us, Vizag is one of the 10 most polluted cities in the country and 20% of the city's population continues to live in slums. There is enough to keep our MPs busy and serve us to their hearts' content for the next few decades!
While the befuddled citizens turn giddy trying to cope with the fast changing political scenario, a few busy body NGOs act as spoilsports. They confound the already confused situation by shouting from the roof tops 'don't sell your vote, demand your rights, your vote is your weapon', and a lot of humbug like that! The new word they are fond of chanting is 'NOTA (None of the Above)'.
No wonder the scene is so blurred. As we speak, I sit in front of the TV lapping it all up, eyes and ears wide open but my brain and my senses addled!!
(The writer is a heritage and environmental activist. She can be reached at ranisarma2010@gmail.com)