​Why adult bullying is more common than you think—and what you can do​

On social media, we often get to see awareness against childhood bullying. People voicing their opinions against it and writing long moral paragraphs are extremely common. However, it becomes hard to digest when some of the same adults perform the same acts but use different terms. In the modern era, adult bullying appears across various settings-workplaces, communities, online platforms, and even within families.
The major difference with childhood bullies is that bullies at an adult age know well how to hide their mistakes in a very subtle, joking manner.
Adult bullying can come in different forms, such as:

Words can make or break one’s confidence, especially when they are newcomers. Adults have a comparatively higher ability to understand words and the intentions behind using them. It becomes much easier to attack someone with words without harming them physically. It can come in different packages: be it through repeated insults, derogatory remarks, aggressive teasing, or threats.

• How do they conceal it?
  It often comes masked as ‘humour,’ ‘constructive criticism,’ ‘feedback,’ or is dismissed as personality clashes, making it hard to address directly.
  
  
  

With age, it becomes difficult for people to connect easily, especially in a new environment like the workplace. They desperately look for social bonding to survive before loneliness takes over them. In social bullying, people use relationships to cause harm, such as social exclusion, rumour-spreading, or sabotaging reputations. They often create a group intentionally to exclude a coworker from important meetings or company social events, or someone spreads office gossip to damage another’s standing.

• How do they conceal it?
  The subtlety makes it difficult for outsiders to detect and for victims to prove intent. It is conducted very carefully through whispered conversations, private messaging, or "accidentally" omitting people from invites.
  
  

Even though it is less common in adults, it exists. Physical bullying involves any form of physical intimidation, threat, or harm. Not every person’s physical structure is the same, nor do they have the same amount of muscle strength. People should think of their boundaries before getting involved in anything physical. Any instance in which a person’s body is involved is considered physical bullying.

• How do they conceal it?
  Bullies often choose to downplay it as 'playful roughness,’ ‘just for fun,’ or isolated incidents, particularly when no visible injuries are present.
  
  

A bully does not always come straight, like a manager’s burst-out or a partner’s scream for no reason. It can be silent, yet so powerful that it becomes worse than ‘screaming.’ Subtle, manipulative tactics like giving the silent treatment, sabotaging work, or undermining someone’s confidence or relationships—most of the time, the victims are left with questions and overthinking.

• How do they conceal it?
  These behaviours can appear as misunderstandings, with bullies presenting themselves as innocent or even as victims to bystanders.
  
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Here, bullies target individuals based on race, gender, religion, sexuality, or disability. The intensity of these insults increases with age and experience as people get familiar with these attitudes as they grow older. Making racist, sexist, or homophobic remarks during meetings can make one look ‘cool’ or ‘funny’ for a particular time, but it cannot help build respect in the long run.

• How do they conceal it?It often comes under the guise of “company culture” or “not a good fit,” and is often minimised unless there is a formal complaint.