Your guide to surviving your child’s exams

A week before her son was going to appear for his SSC exams, 37-year-old Reshma Shah would wake up in the middle of the night, having vivid nightmares about sitting in an examination hall, not knowing the answers to any of the questions. “I was so stressed, it felt like it was my exam. On the D-day, I lost my appetite and had to do breathing exercises to calm myself down,” says Shah. And she isn’t the only one. While examination time is stressful for children, it can be even more daunting for parents. However, an anxious parent can do more harm than good to the child. Says clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Varkha Chulani, “The anxiety among parents is related to a child’s emotional stability. The more anxious the parent, the lesser emotionally stable is the child. The emotional behaviour is also attitudinal. If a parent freaks out during a crisis, the child will believe that such behaviour is acceptable and react in a similar manner.”Here’s how you can ensure a smooth exam period for both, your kid and you.Get a perspectiveFirst of all, don’t make a big deal out of examinations, even if they are important ones like the state board. “Parents should understand that examinations are not the be-all and end-all of life. Marks are not the only way to determine success in life,” says Chulani. Offer your unconditional love to your child at this time. Make sure you tell your kid that no matter what the results, you will always be there for him/her.Teach healthy habitsAccording to Chulani, it is found that the anxiety levels are mostly high among those parents who are not disciplined in their day-to-day living. They have a habit of doing most things last minute and as a result, they end up being stressed and hyper. A similar pattern is followed by the child. “Use a methodical approach to examinations, encouraging your child to study from the first day itself rather than resorting to last-minute rush,” she adds.Stay calmWhile it is natural to be worried, ensure that you don’t pass on the additional anxiety to your kid. This can happen unintentionally, especially if you’ve not had a very good experience of exams yourself. Don’t let your experience colour your expectations for your child. Constantly nagging your child to follow the methods by which you studied for exams might not help your kid. Let your child work it out according his/her own way.Offer your supportInstead of spending time worrying, be supportive. Get involved in your child’s studies. Draw up a timetable or offer your help with his/her revisions. You can also time your child when he/she is answering the past papers.Maintain a steady paceOverpractising and overdoing can lead to fatigue and burn out, warn experts. So, make sure that your child is not burning the midnight oil too often. Encourage healthy sleeping patterns, as there are higher chances of better performance with a good night’s sleep.Take a breakA ‘time out’ for parents is as important as it is for students. Go for an evening walk with your kid or dine out with your family. At home too, encourage your kid to take a break from studies every few hours. Encourage him/her to do simple meditation or yoga exercises to boost energy and remain in positive spirit.Switch off distractionsYou can’t expect your kid to concentrate on studies if you watching an entertaining movie or a football match in your living room. As a parent, it is important to be a good role model and switch off the television, radio and computer when your child is trying to study. If your child is into gadgets, confiscate mobile phones and all other devices that might distract him/her from studying. However, psychologists believe that playing soft music in the background should be encouraged if it helps him or her concentrate better.Stock up on healthy foods Children often eat a lot during exams to beat stress. So, stock up on healthy snacks at home. Make sure your kid eats a good breakfast in the morning. Cook interesting dishes at home. Minimise on high-sugar snacks and provide healthier alternatives to caffeinated drinks.