What makes us attention seekers?

FACE book ... Bed ... Facebook ... Bed ... Flip a coin ... Bed! So Gud Night all!” reads the midnight entry on the Facebook page of 26-year-old engineering professional Sanal Nair. When anxiety gets the better of him, he tiptoes out of bed to check if anyone has cared to leave a comment. Such is the lure to ‘be noticed’ that everyone, from celebrities, reality show contestants to a collegegoer, is trying every trick in the book to stay in circulation.
When Big Brother contestant Jade Goody planned her funeral and sold off its exclusive rights to a magazine, she set tongues wagging. Back home, Dolly Bindra of Bigg Boss 4 first invited the audience’s wrath for her loud and abusive behaviour and was subsequently evicted, only to return on popular demand of the same audience that had begun to miss her. Today, her very ways have fetched her some of her career’s most lucrative deals. And like Dolly Bindra, life is about grabbing eyeballs, for a whole new generation that does not believe in keeping anything private. From being downright nasty and bitchy, it is a game of one-upmanship.
Says actress and ex-Bigg Boss contestant Sambhavna Seth, “Blunt or bold, it has to come from within. In the Bigg Boss house, I went through a lot and hence the outbursts. At one point, I desperately needed psychiatric help. Even today, channels approach me with concepts and ask me to be like the Sambhavna of Bigg Boss. But, at the end of the day, we are human beings and react differently to different situations.”
Time was when being polite and reserved were highly sought-after qualities. Cut to the present. To a brazen generation, the more in the face you are, better are your chances of getting noticed.
Until a while ago, we fought and made up with friends in private. But the latest wave of voyeurism encourages you to go public with your spats, however close a relationship is. On social networking sites, lovers’ tiffs are commonplace, with all and sundry playing ‘agony aunt’ to the couple, while on reality shows life is all about garnering TRPs through your bluntness quotient. Nikunj Malik, one of the finalists of reality show Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge, has a different take. “The ones who have been brash on various reality shows are popular but not mentioned respectfully. In the show, I always reserved my opinion until asked and was never a blabbermouth.” Nikunj admits to having attracted as many admirers for her reserved nature as detractors. “Some felt I was too snobbish. But, then, that’s how I am and it is working well for me,” she adds.
Courtesy technology, life is a free-for-all. When Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, a loud and overweight American high school girl responded to a Facebook advertisement for the popular reality TV series Jersey Shore, little did she know that her boorish ways would turn her into an overnight sensation. The New York Times described her as “the breakout member of the cast”, and the audience “a brat”, yet they were all hooked. Despite herself, Snooki knew full well how to rake in the moolah.
From posting embarrassing videos online to settling scores publicly, everyone suddenly wants to reach out even if no one’s listening.
Sociologist Reeta Brara recounts an experience, “I was on a holiday when a wonderful honeymooning couple walked up to me and asked to take their pictures. They told me categorically that the photos were for Facebook, so they’d better be good. I was amazed. If you are not on Facebook and your pictures are not on it, your m a r r i age doesn’t exist.” But Brara strongly feels that it is a trend that’ll slowly fade. “It is a form of self-advertising facilitated by new technology. How many people are you going to follow after all and for how long?” she reasons.
But when technology enters the realm of public commerce, the chaos compounds and everyone starts taking a shot at stardom. “This kind of explosion of activities on the social media is a dream-come-true for psychopaths,” shares VJ Cyrus Sahukar, “We, inherently as human beings, were born voyeurs. Our acute interest in others’ affairs has made way to a lot of performers, the kind that loves to create a spectacle of themselves.”
Entertainment for some and a cheap gimmick for the rest, in the race to be different, no one is spared. The admirers do come along, but an honest relationship becomes a distant dream.
anwesha.mittra@indiatimes.co.in