Key takeaways from Mel Robbins 'Let Them' theory
‘Let them’ theory is pioneered by American podcast host, author, and motivational speaker Mel Robbins. The author took to Instagram to share a video where she can be seen talking about the ‘Let them’ theory. The video has taken the internet by storm by attracting more than 33.5 million views and 1.4 million likes. Let us delve into the concept of the ‘Let them theory’.
The theory states that the locus of control should not be given in the hands of others. Robbins puts it as “If your friends are not inviting you to brunch this weekend, let them.” She emphasizes the principle of letting others behave the way they want by not expecting much. Since people are revealing their true selves, their emotional responses should not be controlled. The conscious choice of refraining from controlling the external course of events prompts individuals towards ‘self-care’ rather than fixating on the outcome of situations. ‘Let them’ theory developed by Mel Robbins is a practical tool to transform the way we deal with our relationships. Read on to know if the ‘Let them’ theory is a healthy concept.
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‘Let them’ leaves no scope for expectations
When you do not try to change people to meet your expectations by controlling their actions and thoughts, there are no disappointments. ‘Let them’ is a technique that puts forth the idea of letting go of control and unrealistic expectations together. By not expecting much, individuals are less likely to invest time and energy in trying to ‘fix’ relationships.
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Acceptance
Letting go of control of relationships and situations fosters an attitude of acceptance. ‘Let them’ theory does not mean internalizing abusive behaviour. Instead, it liberates one with the burden of fixing relationships, people, and situations according to one’s expectations. Allowing people to be themselves cultivates mental peace.
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Setting healthy boundaries
‘Let them’ theory helps you set healthy boundaries in relationships. It helps you practice detachment and maintain a safe distance in relationships. Instead of controlling the behaviour, one can establish healthy boundaries in the relationship. Exercising control and influencing relationships exacerbates more conflicts.
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There are no resentments
‘Let them’ theory is a conscious mechanism to deal with relationships and circumstances. When you allow people to be genuine by not dictating your expectations, there is little to no scope for resentment. If your relative did not invite you to the dinner –‘Let them’. By not demanding clarifications or engaging in arguments, letting go of control of people and their choices quashes resentments in relationships.
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No anxiety and stress
The theory of ‘Let them’ serves as a guiding tool to understand the dynamics of relationships. Since people reveal their true instincts in their actions, the act of controlling their behaviour and actions leads to frustration and anxiety. Hence, the concept of ‘Let them’ liberates individuals with the superfluous dealing in relationships which causes anxiety, stress, and worry.
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