Never too old to marry!

Thissummer, Playboy king Hugh Hefner, 84, will be tying the knot with hisfiancée Crystal Harris. Many celebs and ordinary people are finding lovelater in life. Actor Marcia Cross got married at 44, while news maven DianeSawyer was 43 when she tied the knot. Is age just a number when it comes tofinding love? Says Kishwar Desai, who married economist Meghnad at 47,“Falling in love is not something you plan. Yet, I know so many young andbeautiful people who are unable to find love or even the right partner. Age, infact, gives you the wisdom to value many things that make a relationship trulysignificant.” “I was very lucky to have met Meghnad,quite by accident, editing his book on Dilip Kumar. I was 47-year-old,well-settled in Delhi, till Meghnad arrived, quite like a summer storm andcompletely unsettled my life! He was very sure that we could have a wonderfullife together and said he had fallen in love with me. It was all during theheady conversations we were having that I realised what I had been missing myentire life — someone I could talk to, and share everything with. Theimportant thing is, when you are older, you want your man to treat you as anequal partner and I found that Meghnad is a feminist who gives enormous respectto all women. This was and is very crucial for me. He has already achieved somuch in his own life, he is a very relaxed man, who has no ego hassles. It wasthe start of a lovely romance, which we enjoy till today,” adds Desai.In her book, Find a Husband After 35 (Using What I Learned atHarvard Business School), dating coach Rachel Greenwald writes how the chancesof getting married at 60 are still bright. “Your chances are as strong asthe effort you put into meeting someone.” Life coach Rajini Woodhousesays, “Age is no barrier for love. More people are walking out of theircomfort zones and reaching out to find love.” According to PsychologyToday, simple things matter in love and marriage, rather than age. And grown-upstying the knot have better chances of making happy marriages. Says Uma Trilok,author of Amrita-Imroz: A Love Story, “Love can happen anytime. We arewitnessing a rise of marriages amongst the older age group as everyone wants tofind a companion. Urban cities have increased the need to be with someone; beingalone is lonely. Everyone craves for those bright moments of romance. AmritaPritam was 42 when she met Imroz and fell in love. Kamala Das found her love at65. People should keep their hearts open because love can happen anytime.”Experts say that older couples have less chances of getting divorced. Says Mumbaibased author Ahmed Faiyaz, “Our attitude towards marriage has changed. A couple of generations ago, a good proportion of young women went to college so that they could get an education that would help them get good proposals. Today, they study because they want to do their own thing and be successful. We’ve seen both men and women put off marriage because of their careers. Despite that, everyone has a choice to find their partners at any age and there are so many opportunities to meet like-minded people.” Older people are making their own rules. Mature love can be powerfuland accepting. US-based author Maggie Scarf tells The Economist that oldermarriage is full of unexpected pleasures. “Older couples, compared tomiddle-aged couples, express lower levels of anger, disgust, belligerence andwhining and higher levels of affection. Hence, they have more success inlove.” Says Raksha Baradia, author of Me: A Handbook of Life,“There’s no age for falling in love. Everyone has their own rules.When I go for a morning walk, I often see senior citizens over 70, complimentinggraceful older women who also walk with them. Whenever the lady gets acompliment, she lowers her eyes. The attraction of the other sex neverstops.” Psychiatrist Dr Avdesh Sharma agrees, “When people marry late, the emotional challenges are different. Yet, couples feel they can deal with the situation as the connection is stronger and they’re confident. There’s a realism in mid-life relationships that makes the success rate higher. There’s nobody who wants to live alone forever.” It’s truly never too late to find love!nona.walia@timesgroup.com