Hurt your partner unintentionally? Here’s how you can comfort them

Sometimes we all have that moment when we say or do something which hurts our partner unintentionally. It may be due to our frustrations in life at work or in general, a stress of some kind and without realising we lash out or say something we should not have. Even some jokes we found funny in our head, come out all wrong. So to comfort your hurt partner, here are some tips that may help you.

Instead of feeling just guilty and not addressing it with your partner, speak to her or him and let the person know that you are sorry and hold them. Give a warm hug and apologise. It is important to not just recognise your mistake but also act on it and comfort the other. Don’t run away presuming that he or she will not want to see you since you are the culprit. It is actually the opposite.

All people are different so the way they handle the pain also varies. Sometimes the damage is too much so it cannot be repaired in a jiffy. Here you change your tactics, your strategy on how to deal with him or her. Adapt and tweak your approach. See where you need to change yourself because “I am like that” is not the answer in this situation.

Okay if you are a silent lover who rarely shows it but loves her or him a lot, but here that may not work. Sometimes it is important to express it in words and actions. Cuddle, hug, hold hands, reassure your partner with words of love and care. Say that you want to know what he or she is going through besides you saying sorry and admitting your mistake.

Once you have begun the process of providing comfort, you have to do something about the damage you did as well. Ask what you can do, how can you help since you cannot take it back. Tell them that you do not want to make things worse. If you are not sure what you can do then say that too - “I am not sure how to go about it, but I am willing to do anything to repair the situation”. Do gauge the moment for your words.

You have lent your ear to your partner but make sure you make your partner as well understand where your outburst is coming from. Your partner too will feel comforted and good if you open up to him or her. Leave no space for miscommunication. In a relationship, it is always a two way traffic.

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