Only if men listened
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, “Pig!” The man immediately leans out his window and replies, “B### h!” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. Breakfast argument
A doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. The doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. “What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?” She said, “I was in bed.” The husband looked puzzled and said “what in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?” The wife calmly said “I was getting a second opinion.”
The birthday gift
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat-up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.” ” . “ want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 10 seconds or less and my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.” For her birthday, he bought her a brand new set of bathroom scales. Nobody has seen or heard from him since.
The silent answer
A man and his wife were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realised that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and lose, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it and was sure that he would be woken up on time. And he went to bed enjoying his peaceful sleep. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. He was angry and fuming, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
