From untouchability to solitary confinement, 6 inhuman treatments Indian widows undergo

The grief and pain a person undergoes when he or she loses a life partner cannot be expressed through words. Only the person knows how he or she deals with it. And when they are subjected to rituals and customs following widowhood, it can become very daunting. Such was the condition of women in India a few decades back that being a widow was no less than the death of two persons—and we aren’t just talking about the custom of self-immolation (sati). From social ostracization to giving up things she loves, a widow was expected to follow the customs without any complaints. Although a lot has changed and practices like ‘sati’ have been banned (thanks to Bengal Sati Regulation which was passed on December 4, 1829, by the then Governor-General Lord William Bentinck) but there are so many customs, which are still being followed by widows.

Unlike the western countries where black is associated with mourning, for Indians white is the chosen colour for such occasions. Also, red and any bright colours are associated with happiness and celebration. A widow is expected to shun all colours from her life and the customs demand that she wears only white. Strangely, this is still being followed by many women in remote areas of the country.

Another custom, which is still prevalent in India, restricts a widow from leading a normal life with her family. After her husband’s death, a woman is expected to live in an ashram (shelter home). A visit to Vrindavan will clear any doubts that challenge the existence of such a custom. In 2012, the Supreme Court took notice of the plight of their sufferings and ordered the constitution of a committee to identify the widows living in ashrams or wandering in the streets in Vrindavan. Unfortunately, widows throughout the country still travel to Vrindavan because the custom demands so.

The Hindu Widows’ Remarriage Act, as the name suggests, had legalised the remarriage of Hindu widows during the time of East India Company rule in 1856. Still marrying a widow was considered a sin in Indian society. In many interior villages of India, a widow is still expected to lead a life of abstinence. Not only this, the stigma attached to widowhood is so deep that in some places widows are prohibited from attending auspicious ceremonies like marriage. Although not many would like to admit it, lack of education and awareness make people believe in many superstitions surrounding widows.

In many Indian societies, a woman is forced to abandon everything that is associated with marriage like sindoor, mangalsutra and in some extreme cases even jewellery. Another shocking custom that many widows in Vrindavan are seen following is shaving off their head. A widow is expected to look unattractive and any article of clothing that makes her look otherwise have no place in her life.

A widow is often seen giving up non-vegetarian food and if she is a vegetarian, she is expected to eat food that doesn’t have spice, onion and garlic. The reason behind this belief is that non-vegetarian food or spices are aphrodisiac and since a widow had to lead a life of abstinence, she was not allowed to eat such food. Sadly, such customs are still observed and widows, especially the older generation, are seen following this religiously.

Again, if we look at women who relocate to Vrindavan after her husband’s death, their life is full of hardship. Untouchability is still prevalent and people are forbidden from meeting a widow. To make sure that this never happens, widows were (and some still are) subjected to solitary confinement in her house or in an ashram.

(All images used here are representational)