Finding Mr Right

"Brahmin boy, 5'11", 27 years, MBA, working in the US, salary in 6 figures seeks fair, tall, slim, convent educated, vegetarian, homely and beautiful bride," reads a matrimonial ad in a leading newspaper.
And there you go! Before you have even met the man of your dreams, you start visualising him through rose tinted glasses. Tall, dark and handsome, working in the US and earning a whopping salary! What else can you ask for? But wait.What if you plan to meet him only to discover that the man in question is not even close to your desired expectations? Will you rule him out completely or give him another chance? We spoke to some people who shared a similar experience and here's what they had to say...
The much awaited rendezvous
Finding your dream man might seem like a daunting task that requires lots of 'trial and error' before you succeed. What you need to remember is that you don't have to kiss a dozen frogs to find your very own prince charming! The best way to begin is by listing the top three attributes you look for in a man ��� whether it is good looks, money, intelligence, humour, confidence, sensitivity or anything other quality.
The next question you need to ask yourself is, 'how long have you been waiting for love to find you?' Isn't it true that ever since you remember, you've been waiting for Mr Right to come and sweep you off your feet and walk into the sunset? Yet, you wake up to discover you are still hopelessly single. Probably, you've even begun to ask yourself, 'What's wrong with me? Why can't I find a man who wants to marry me?'
"Once I met a man through a matrimonial web site who had stated in his profile that he has never been married before. I met him and even dated him for three months and then as I was gathering more information about him, I came to know through a family friend living in the same city that he's a divorcee and has a kid too. I was terrified and heart-broken, but I'm glad that I still hadn't exchanged rings with him," says Neha Agarwal (name changed on request), an IT professional.
'Will I ever get married'?
One must accept that your dream man might not appear to be your 'dream man' at the very first encounter. If you have dismissed most of your dates after just one encounter when you didn't feel that 'instant chemistry', give yourself a break! Ask yourself - whenever you start dating someone, do you wonder, 'Is he the one?' You may believe he's the right guy, so you put in all your time and effort into the relationship, only to see it end in fiasco.
Ankita Jaiswal (name changed on request) says, "I have been waiting to get married for the last four years, but every time I meet a guy, I have a feeling that he's not my type. I've also approached guys through matrimonial ads in newspapers and web sites, but a majority of people don't give authentic information and turn out to be exactly the opposite when you meet them in person."
"I have been trying to find a match for the last three years but haven't been successful. Every proposal that I get has some or the other flaw. As a result, I've been losing confidence and have started feeling lonely and frustrated and sometimes I even wonder if I would ever get married?," rues 27-year-old, Ritu Mishra.
While it's almost impossible to find a man who is perfect in every way, you can certainly find a man who has all the qualities that are important to you.
Recipe for finding love...
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If you have been looking for the perfect recipe to find love, remember that physical attributes are very superficial. Also, it's important to be self assured about what you bring to the table. It does not matter whether you're tall or short, shy, extrovert, or whether you have children or not. It also makes no difference how many times you've tried to find your Mr Right and failed.
"I got divorced only two years after my marriage when I discovered that my husband had an affair with another woman. I thought I'll never be able to trust another man. I was completely shattered. I also have a son and I wondered if any man would want to marry a woman who has a kid. I didn't want anyone to pity me. To my surprise, I got a proposal from a friend's colleague. Initially I was reluctant but after spending some quality time with him, I was convinced that he was the one and I married him a year ago. My life has changed drastically since then and I've realised that at times may be you meet the wrong man so that you learn to appreciate and value meeting the 'right' man," says Poonam (name changed on request), a marketing professional.
So, don't fret, for not meeting the man of your dreams may just be moving a step closer to knowing what you 'do not' want in your Mr Right when he finally does come your way. Marriage and relationship counselor Dr Kamal Khurana gives some tips that can help you, incase you don't feel that 'instant chemistry'...
���Don't judge a person too soon. The first meeting is not enough to form an opinion about the person. Give it time.
���It is important to understand the values of the other person, besides his likes and dislikes.
���There should be a two-way communication. Ask open ended questions, try to know more about his family and friends as it can help you get clarity on the minor details. For example, if a person says that he doesn't spend too much time socialising, it may mean that he's a workaholic which may be an important criteria to decide whether you want to be with him or not in the future.
���Don't go only by looks. They can be deceptive too.
���Perfect compatibility is merely a myth. So, you should know the important qualities you are looking for in a person.
What do men think of during sex?
rakshita.pandey@indiatimes.co.in