Experts: Here's how you attract unhealthy people

Dating in the modern world can be fun, imaginative, exciting yet pretty sketchy. We meet many people as they come and go and finally settle for someone who makes you feel worthwhile and happy. However, the journey to finding your partner can be exhausting. You uncontrollably meet people who instigate self-esteem issues, doubts, anxiety in you with their toxic and unhealthy habits. To help you understand better, here are some reasons why you tend to attract unhealthy people, according to relationship experts.

If you’re looking for a hot and popular guy on dating apps, then being an introvert won’t help. And so, you start pretending to be a different person from what you are. In such circumstances where you let go of your individuality just to attract suitors, it can only lead to toxic situations. You might be trying to fit in a crowd that’s just not you, and trying to weigh in that burden can be too much at one point of time.

Before you meet a person, forming your own fantasy of how that person will be, can inevitably harm yourself. When you dwell in an imaginary state thinking of your most favourite qualities in that partner, you’re leading towards doom and eliminating the possibility of that person opening up their true selves in front of you. Thus, misconceptions arise.

Before dating someone, you should be confident in yourself. Self-doubts about your personality, looks shouldn’t be on the go as it will only attract insecurities along the way. It gives other people the chance to ridicule and judge you in many aspects. Thinking ‘no one will like me’ is only setting yourself up for disappointments and failure.

You can’t just jump into a relationship if you have existing emotional baggage from your past relationships. Emotional insecurity can not only destroy potential relationships but can also deteriorate your mental health and confidence. Being hung up on an ex or expressing the same toxic patterns in a relationship is not worth it.

If you’re looking to go in for the long haul, then experts suggest getting to know the person with time, instead of rushing into the relationship. If you do the latter, you’ll never get to know if that person is emotionally available or not. And when they aren’t, it’s a grave, toxic situation where you want love and the other person isn’t ready to love. And so, fights and misunderstandings commence.

The only person you need to love is yourself. Once you realise your worth and are sure of yourself, you don’t need to find your validation in someone else. You should look for a person who can make you happier and excited and not someone who will emotionally take care of you. Go for a person you want to love, not ‘need’ to love.