How does one deal with heartbreak from a spiritual perspective?
Heartbreak is a word that denotes intense misery, sadness, suffering and sorrow. Often associated with failed romantic relationships, it also includes sadness associated with the loss of someone close to us or tragic events. Losing a pet, parent, child, spouse or anyone dear to us, or someone we love, can cause heartbreak. In romantic love relationships, people may move on, or eventually, realize that they are incompatible.
To begin with, if such things happen, it is possible that it was not true love at all. True love is bliss, not a kiss. It could have been just infatuation or physical attraction. At times, one may feel betrayed. The problem could also be in expectations — expectations could be wrong. We become disappointed and our disappointments defeat us. This can break our hearts. What we don’t realize is that nobody is perfect, everybody has their flaws. Heartbreak, because of the grief of losing people we love is debilitating, for most people. But this does not affect a spiritually evolved person.
Accept that what is done is done and you can’t change it
Realize that the law of karma controls whatever happens. If anything untoward happens in your life, rejoice! A karmic debt is being settled. So, don’t nurse, curse and rehearse your hurt, reverse your hurt instead. To deal with the pain, if it helps to talk, talk to people. Try to keep busy. Read, paint, besides working, to keep negativity at bay. The mind is a monkey and it will go on creating thoughts that will make you miserable. Still your mind. Sit in silence. Observe your mind — watch it, catch it and latch it. Use your intellect to discriminate between thoughts. Don’t let the negativity of your mind overcome you.
Don’t linger for too long in your grief
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Don’t give up. Have faith. Realize that things happen for a reason. We can’t control the road on which we are driving our car, but we are in full control of our car. We can go fast or slow. Turn left or right. Ultimately, all that we do is a matter of choice. Choose to accept the cause of the heartbreak and move on.
Learn to let go
For those who are on a spiritual path, they realize that all this is a drama, we come and we go. We are like actors in a show. We do our role. We perform our part. Then we leave. When we come into this world, do we bring anyone or anything with us? When we go, will we take anything or anyone with us? We came empty-handed, we will return empty-handed. Then, how can we say, ‘my’, or ‘mine’?
Relationships are transitory. Our bodies do not last forever. We must learn to live with Detached Attachment, realizing that nobody, nothing belongs to us. When it comes to mourning, spirituality helps us realize that death is only a bend to transcend. Only the body dies, who we really are, the Divine Soul, we can never die. Either we are reborn, or we are liberated from the karmic cycle of death and rebirth if we realize the truth. Then, why cry and mourn for those who are gone? The one who is on a spiritual path transcends all relationships. For him, there is nothing like heartbreak, because he realizes that life is a show and in the end we all have to go.
Written by AiR Atman in Ravi, Spiritual leader and Founder of AiR Institute of Realization and AiR Center of Enlightenment
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