Does your partner spend too much time on social media? Here’s how to talk about it

A partner’s social media behaviour is a growing concern among many. Unfortunately, how your loved one handles social media can create a sense of insecurity in a relationship, which wasn’t there previously. So, if you are disturbed by such behaviour, should you confront your partner? If you answered ‘yes’ to this question, how effectively do you broach the subject so that he or she does not feel intimidated or accuse you of invading their privacy? Well, it’s not an easy thing to do. But we have some suggestions, which might help you to deal with the situation logically.

“This is an issue that most millennial couples face. We have become so dependent on social media that sometimes, we don’t even realise how much time we are spending on it. As a result of which, we compromise with the time we need to spend with our loved ones. No, wonder it makes them feel unwanted and unloved—two major factors for a person to feel insecure in a relationship,” said Shweta Singh, a Senior Consultant Psychologist.

Besides the fact that it affects the time your partner spends with you, what other factors make you uncomfortable about your partner’s social media behaviour? Is it because he doesn’t comment on your posts or share them? Or, is it because she is friends with people you don’t like? Or, supports a political view you don’t approve of? It’s important to know the real reason behind your discomfort.

After analyzing the reasons behind your discomfort, it’s time to decide how you address it without making your partner feel that you are invading his or her privacy. According to relationship experts, it’s always better to address the issue directly.

One of the biggest mistakes we make when we discuss problems with a partner is that we tend to become judgmental. Similarly, while discussing your partner’s social media behaviour, you should not start something like, “You always spend your time looking at the profiles of young women. What’s wrong with you?” or “Your behaviour towards me has changed because you have found more interesting people on social media.” Please don’t use such statements while discussing a problem. Be open to discussion and explain your problem logically. Tell how it’s affecting the time you both spend together rather than concentrating only on yourself.

When you explain that your partner’s bhaviour is affecting the relationship, you might also have to answer how you monitored his or her behaviour? Did you stalk your partner online or used his or her password to keep a track of his activity? If you resorted to such behaviour, it will surely backfire. So, be reasonable and honest. Monitor your partner’s behaviour without misusing his or her trust and without infringing privacy.

After you and your partner arrive at a mutual understanding, you should immediately set some ground rules like a fixed time for social media browsing. Do not entertain any social media requests or activity outside these hours. If there is something you do not approve of a person or groups your partner follows, let him or her know about that. Also, these rules should apply to both.

(All images used here are representational)