Different childhood experiences that may be harming your adult relationships

Do you have a certain behaviour today in your relationships which you may have imbibed from incidents in your childhood? Do you sometimes feel that you attract mean people, or a people pleaser, a manipulator or an escapist? It is probably because of what you experienced while growing yup that has shaped the way you are today. Scroll down to know which childhood issue may have made you the way you are today in your relationship.

If as a child you saw a lot of caretaking in your family during childhood or experienced it yourself, you tend to become that adult who feels compelled to fix their partners. They take on their partner’s problems and ignore their own issues. They attract people who act like a victim all the time and so the rescuer steps in.

An adult tends to become people pleaser when in their childhood, they have seen negative reactions every time they say no but given good reactions when they act compliant or agreeable. Such people face difficulty in expressing what they truly feel just to keep the peace.

This trait emerges when a person has gone through immense stress or trauma during their childhood and has realised that escape or dissociation from that reality is a good coping mechanism for them. As adults, such people have a hard time struggling with emotional distress. They avoid conflicts or those emotionally challenging situations in relationships. They can also lean towards addictions which can be dangerous and difficult in any relationship.

The adult who manipulates a lot was once a kid who grew up in an atmosphere where you had to use manipulation as a mechanism to get their work done. Such adults struggle with honest communication and they tend to manipulate in their relationships to control situations. This often leads to unhealthy dynamics in their relationships.

An adult who has grown up in an environment where there was substance abuse or other such harmful things always tends to enable that destructive pattern in their partners.

If the adult plays the victim card every time with you, plays or portrays as powerless and plays the blame game, they were probably forced to experience invalidation during their childhood days.

If a person always acts like that “achha bachcha” or good child, the truth is that this person struggles with expressing themselves and talking about their own needs in a relationship. They will please others and avoid any kind of argument, They fear disappointment. Some adults become like this when in their childhood, only obedience and being responsible were highly valued.

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