Life after marriage
Marriage comes with a lot of assumptions and unsaid promises that might not always hold true in every relationship. One of them being that your life is complete after tying the knot and you have got a ‘companion’ for life. You might marry the person you are madly in love with but does that guarantee you will never end up feeling lonely? We asked this question to seven couples and here’s what they had to share.
Yes, you can
“Yes, this can happen in any marriage and it is normal. What matters is how the couple addresses the issue. We discussed this when I started feeling lonely after being married for four years and worked on the root cause. Today, we are in a happy and healthy relationship,” shared Kiran Joshi.
I have not yet
“I have been married to my husband for three years and we have been so busy that this thought has never crossed my mind. We follow certain rules like keeping aside our phones an hour before sleeping and spending quality time together every day, which might be the reason why haven’t yet felt the pangs of loneliness,” said Sonali Motwani.
The problem was with me!
“I started feeling lonely and depressed in the first year of my marriage. I had shifted to a new city and did not have a job. So, I used to stay at home most of the time and became too much dependent on my husband. I expected him to be my best friend with whom I can gossip and share every little problem, someone who helps me in every household chore, a lover who pampers me and the list was endless. When he could not fulfil these needs, I started feeling lonely. Later I realised I have really high expectation levels from him and I am too much dependent on him,” said Kavita Aneja.
We tackled it together
“We were so busy in our professional lives that we failed to realise we had developed an emotional gap. After four months, my wife pointed out that we spend more time on our workstations, office parties and phones rather than with each other. This is how the conversation unfolded and we placed each other on our priority list again,” said Amit Singla
It happened after having kids
“My wife’s priorities changed after having our first kid. I felt neglected because she spent most her time taking care of our baby (which was normal!) and all we talked about was diapers, doctor and other baby related stuff. Somehow, she sensed my feelings and with time, everything fell into place,” shared Akash Gupta.
Depends upon couple to couple
“At the end of the day, it is all about how much you value your partner and how much hard work you put in your relationship. Like every other couple, we also fight, argue and make love but we never take each other for granted. Guess, that it the reason why we have not ever felt lonely even after being married for seven years,” opined Umesh Kaushik.
It is a warning sign
“Feeling lonely for a prolonged period of time can be a warning sign for your relationship. It happened to me when my husband got really busy with his work and started travelling frequently for official meetings. Unfortunately, he ignored my emotional needs for months even though I had told him multiple times about how I felt. He realised his mistake only when I wanted to part ways and our parents had to intervene to sort out everything,” shared Smita Turani
(All images used here are representational; names changed on request)