BK Sister Shivani on how to handle criticism from people we love

In life, we often face criticism and harsh judgements from others. However, popular Indian spiritual guru Brahma Kumari Sister Shivani believes that one should not be dependent on external validation to lead their life. She says that to stay positive and happy in life, one should ignore other's opinions and keep their self-esteem high.

In an old video of BK Sister Shivani which is doing rounds on social media, she beautifully explains this idea through everyday examples. "Firstly choose all the things which are external-- which means the clothes we wear, the objects that we use, and the work we do in our life. We will do what we think is right, and what we like for ourselves and our families because this is also a big sanskaar-- that people should approve of my choices. This is a deep addiction-- of wanting approval from people. And when we don't get that approval, we get hurt," she says.

Elaborating this, she further says, "For instance: We go for shopping with people who would approve of our choices. Or, we buy stuff which we like for ourselves and then we want that everyone should like it. How is that possible? What we do we'll do it as per our sanskaar. But to expect that the whole world should like it, then we'll obviously get hurt. Let us respect ourselves that this was my choice and I liked it; this was my way of working and I did my best. But do not expect the world to say 'This is the best' because the world will like it as per their sanskaar."

Sister Shivani then gave an example of a bouquet of flowers saying that if people like it do the flowers bloom in pride or when people dislike it do they perish in dismay? No, right! In the same way, even we shouldn't be bothered by other people's opinions, praises or negative comments, just like the flowers. "The flowers stay as they are because of their self-esteem. Similarly one should have enough self-esteem, not that 'I'm not willing to improve' but right now this is 'Who I am'. In the same way, what you are going to talk about it is your opinion and it reflects your choice and sanskaar. What people talk about their choice shows their sanskaar," she added.

Explaining this concept of accepting your choices and liking them regardless of what others say, Sister Shivani then said that when our loved one criticise us or our choices, we shouldn't let their negativity affect us. Especially as a parent, as that negative energy can pass on to children as well.

Sharing her view point, Sister Shivani said, "Now taking this ahead to love, when someone says 'You are not nice', what should one do? Different people have different sanskaars and different Manosithi i.e. state of mind. When someone says 'You are not a good parent or mother', don't take it personally because then you consume the emotional pain of the other person and it radiates to the child. Our role is to heal them (other and our children) for which first- don't consume people's emotional infection (i.e. negative emotions) as when this happens we are also responsible for what is happening."

Do you agree with BK Sister Shivani's teaching? Tell us in the comments below.




Stay updated with the latest news on Times of India. Spread love this holiday season with these Christmas wishes, messages, and quotes.