This story is from December 18, 2006

Betrayed!

Mumbai Mirror / Dec 18, 2006, 10:35 IST

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Most people go through a variety of emotions, ranging from anger to hurt and disbelief. But can you overcome these feelings and trust again?

Sanaya Chavda discovers what happens when a friend or a loved one breaks your trust...

We have all encountered betrayal at some point of our lives: from friends or lovers. Trust is fragile and can easily be lost.
But it is doubly painful when long-time trust is broken. The greater the trust you have in the other person, the greater is the impact of their betrayal.

Most people go through a variety of emotions, ranging from anger to hurt and sometimes, even disbelief. But can you overcome these feelings and trust again?
For Aaron D'Mello, a software engineer, being deceived by his girlfriend of four years was a complete shock. “My girlfriend and I had been together for so long that I never once thought she could cheat on me. She approached me one day and confessed to having been with someone else. Initially, it was hard to accept the reality of the situation.

I was too hurt and upset to look her in the face. I tried to retaliate by passing vicious remarks or ignoring her completely.” D'Mello says that though they tried to work past the incident, he found that he had lost the trust they once shared.
“I am now in a relationship with someone else and have made it a point not to carry my baggage from the past. I am also more practical now and have realised that though it may seem like things can't go wrong, they still can. You can never know for sure if it's meant to be.”
When Prajna Shah, a college student, found out that her best friend had lied to her she went into a mild depression. “Ruhi and I had been close friends since junior college, so much so that people often thought we were sisters.
We always maintained a strong bond but it was during our final year of college that things suddenly went wrong. Perhaps, it was the competitive spirit before the final exams that drove her to lie, to get out of a joint project work.
I never once doubted her word and completed her part of the project as well only to find out later that she was using the additional time she had to study for the exams.” Shah says that after the incident she found several skeletons tumbling out of the closet. “I gradually realised that I had a major misconception about her and went into a depression. It took me a while to regain my faith in others and be open about making friends.”
TV Anchor Mandira Bedi confesses to being the ultimate optimist. “I believe you can regain faith in a person completely, no matter how badly they’ve betrayed your trust. Call me gullible if you like, but I feel that everyone deserves a second chance.
In fact, not so long ago a close friend of my husband Raj turned on us and deceived us professionally. But, once we sorted through the matter we forgave him and his wife and welcomed them back into our lives.
” Bedi says that neither she nor her husband hesitated to give them another chance. “This has actually happened quite often to Raj in his professional life, where people whom he has been working with suddenly turned on him. But both of us believe that as long as we remain consistent in our faith it doesn't matter.”
Actor Ronit Roy has been fortunate enough not to be betrayed by a close friend or loved one, but has been close enough. “I generally surround myself with a small group of people who I'm extremely close to.
I have trusted these people for years. So, I have been lucky enough to not face someone breaking my trust. However, if it were to happen to me I am not sure how I would react.” However, Roy has been in situations where acquaintances have made false promises.
“I guess it happens to everyone. I have known people who have promised me one thing and then done something completely different. In that sense, they have deceived me and apologised for it later. I have learnt to take this in my stride and move on with life. I don't let such incidents affect my faith in people.”
As with other things in life, moving on is the best mantra.
“I believe that you can regain faith in a person completely, no matter how badly they’ve betrayed your trust. Call me gullible if you like, but I feel that everyone deserves a second chance”

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