Being Single: Story of a 52-year-old single woman who loved her freedom more than any man

She is 52, full of sarcasm but not bitter like people would expect a single woman to be at this age. Devaki Sudan is a freelance voice over artist and a part time baker in Noida. She loves to live life as it comes, and believes in making lemonades from the lemons life throws at her. We asked her how singlehood is treating her and here is what she shared with us in a candid interview.


Does it annoy you when people ask why are you single?
Devaki Sudan: It used to annoy me, because honestly it is no one’s business, but now I smile and let it go.


Why do you think singlehood is questioned so much?
Devaki Sudan: People cannot digest the fact that an individual can very much enjoy life without a companion. In India, whether you are a single man or a single woman, you are judged as someone difficult and unadjustable. But now I think people have started getting a grip on the joys of singlehood. It will take some time but it will happen when no one will care about your relationship status.
What are the weirdest, funniest questions you have been asked about being single?

Devaki Sudan: Oh there have been many such instances when my sarcastic mind has made fun of “innocent questions” put across on my singlehood. How do you manage on your own? Don’t you ever feel lonely? How do you deal with situations where only men can take care of it? Can you fix a bulb on your own? You have male friends coming over, be careful of what your neighbours will think because you are a single woman! What do you do about sex?...I think people really do not have a life.


What strengths do you find in the power of being single?

Devaki Sudan: I do not have to answer to anyone. I can travel anywhere I want, just pack my bag and leave, because that is what I love. I can roam around in any kind of clothing at home. I can come home late at night without a human GPS on my head. The best thing is, my toilet rim is always clean. Believe me, it makes a lot of difference to us women.
Have you ever had those weak moments when you wished you weren’t single?

Devaki Sudan: Yes. It is the festival time when I feel someone is missing. But that’s about it. In fact, I have found a solution to that too. I celebrate it with my old neighbours. Their kids live abroad, so they hardly come by to meet them. So our celebrations are together. I lost my parents 10 years ago so they fill that void too.
Could past relationship experiences be a reason for you to choose singlehood? What made you realise or decide that you no longer want a partner?

Devaki Sudan: It is a very personal question but yes I can see that this can be a reason for many to turn to singlehood. I was in a relationship for good 5-6 years in my late 20’s and early 30’s but I knew there was no future because he didn't want to get married to anyone. Live-in was a concept very alien at the time and my parents would have been against it and same was in his case. We parted ways because the love for our respective careers was much more. I loved spending time with him and so did he but we loved our freedom more. We had many arguments on this and eventually we made the mutual decision to part ways. I guess some of us prize our freedom and individuality much more.

My parents wanted me to get married but they decided to let me be when they realised that I was happier after the relationship was over. I became confident of taking to singlehood when they sat me down and said that “you live your life on your own terms, we will still be very proud of who you have become.” That was my turning point.

I would also like to add that I have not closed all doors. I am not hoping for a partner but if I do bump into someone and we are in sync, believe in that space, then why not? You never know what life has to offer. I like to live life as it comes. It keeps me sane and happy.


A few pieces of advice for women and men out there who are contemplating singlehood, trying not to fall under the pressure of “society”.

Devaki Sudan: Do what you believe is right for you. Yes there will be moments when you feel a little lonely. You are lying to yourself if you are denying this. But it is okay. It happens. Instead of giving into those negative emotions, go out and help someone. It has worked for me and you are doing something good so nothing to lose here.

Read also: Being Single: Story of a 72-year-old woman who remained single out of choice and even adopted a girl child
Read also: His story/Her story: I often catch my husband staring at other women!

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