Jumping on the love wagon
From peer pressure to just feeling lonely on a winter night, you might be tempted to get into a relationship due to varying reasons. And while it is not bad to crave for love and affection, there are some situations where it is best to avoid taking any decisions, especially regarding a new relationship. If you only feel like getting a partner because your friends tease you about being single, you need to stop right there. Or if you do not wish to let them in your life fully but want to ‘see where it goes’, it’d be best to stall the idea for a while. Here we list 7 signs that indicate that you are not ready for a relationship.
You are not happy with yourself
Being happy with who you are and what you do is very important. This won't just help you in being content with yourself but also not put the external pressure on your partner to keep validating every step you take. If you are not at peace with yourself, you might start depending too much on the relationship to keep you happy and if the partner is not able to fulfill your expectations from them, this will only result in bitterness and sorrow. So, before you jump on the love wagon, try to love yourself and keep yourself happy in general.
You feel a compulsion to ‘not be alone’
If you have been feeling uneasy or uncomfortable just when you are alone, this might be an indicator that you are depending too much on external situations or factors to keep you happy. And if this is why you wish to get back into your dating phase, this isn't very wise. It is normal to expect support from your partner, but getting a partner to evade the lonesome is not right for you and with them. The happiness and support you seek should first come from you. So, before getting into a relationship, learn to be happy with the solitude you have right now. Find your own joy, dance with yourself and take yourself out on dates. If you still think this isnt cutting it, then think about a relationship.
You have a ‘I can change them’ mentality
You see a person, you like them, you fall for them but there are some traits in them that you cannot stand. Then pops in an idea, ‘you can change them’. Well, don’t!
If you think your partner needs changes and should be moulded according to your preference clearly shows that you don't accept them for who they are. While growing as a person is natural, forcing the growth according to your own standards is bad and you should not be doing that. This won't just harm them but also you if they do not change in the long run. So, if you cannot have them and live with them for who they are or who they might grow to be, it is best to not pursue it further.
You feel like you need to be different with them
If your future partner or the person you want to be around hints you to change or you feel like you are not ‘upto the mark’ with them, this might not be the right relationship. If you feel like you have to alter your personality to fit their expectations, this shows that you would not be able to be your true, real self in that relationship. And this is true vice versa as well. If they need to pretend to be another person with you, it is not healthy for either of you. Thus, it is best to not get into a relationship with someone you cannot be yourself with.
You cannot open up to them
Honesty and openness are very important for a relationship to flourish. As partners, the two of you should have very little secrets from each other and they should be the person you trust with your deepest secrets. So, if you think that with the other person you can only be selective with the secrets or you do not wish to open with them, this might not be the right time to get into a relationship. This might hint towards an emotional barrier on your side and till you are not comfortable with them, it is best to not pursue them.
You still miss your ‘ex’ sometimes
If you have any lingering emotions or unresolved issues from your past relationships, this can result in a bad current relationship. Missing them, remembering them, trying to contact them during the ‘moving on’ phase, can all result in problems with the new partner. So, if you find yourself constantly thinking about the past relationship or wanting to get back with that person, try not to waste someone else’s time by trying to show them that you actually want a relationship with them.
You do not want to give your 100%
Building on ‘missing your ex-partner’ and wanting to get back with them, you might have feelings of getting into a relationship only to move on from them. If you are pursuing someone just because you want to forget someone, this is not going to go well. If you do not give your 100% in the relationship, directly or indirectly, this will turn you into a big red flag. So, instead of being emotionally unavailable and just using someone to move on, and not giving your whole efforts into building that relationship, you should rather sit down and talk to yourself about how you feel at the moment. It is best to not use someone and definitely not in the form of a relationship.
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