3 hidden signs your friendship has become toxic, according to a top psychologist

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light,” Helen Keller once said, and most of us prefer the same. Meaningful friendships add value to our lives and brighten up even the darkest moments. But what happens when that friendship becomes the very thing that dims your light? Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist and bestselling author, who has spent 10 years working for the NHS, explains how, sometimes, even meaningful connections can turn toxic. You may not necessarily identify this, as many stay hidden. Here are three hidden signs that indicate your friendship may have become toxic. Take a look.

Friendship, like all other meaningful relationships, thrives on unconditional love and support. If yours is not, it's a red flag. According to Dr. Smith, one of the most telling signs of a friendship turned sour is when your friend’s affection or support depends on you staying non-threatening: “Your friendship is conditional on you being no threat to them, so you have to stay small enough so that they can tolerate you,” the psychologist said.

No means no. Be it romantic or platonic relationships. In friendships, the word no is even more important. If your friend does not respect your boundaries and pushes past your limits, consider it a warning sign. “They don't respect the word no, so instead they manipulate you into doing what they want,” Dr. Smith said in a video shared on Instagram.

According to Dr. Smith, this one can be hard to spot. Have you ever received a compliment from a friend that felt like a backhanded compliment? Well, then, beware. “What sounds like praise, feels like poison,” is a classic sign of toxic friendship, according to the psychologist. “So even comments that appear friendly on the surface seem to come laced with contempt,” she added. Your friends are supposed to lift you, and the subtle sarcasms are not really a healthy sign.

Dr. Smith has shared some other signs that hint that a friendship has gone sour.

The toxicity also depends on how your friends react to when you share your highs and lows.

“When you share bad news, your bid for connection and support is squashed by something apparently much worse that happened to them once,” the psychologist said.

“Sharing good news or something positive that is happening for you feels unwelcome, too. You might be met with sarcasm or praise that comes laced with insult. Or you might notice that you are being subtly excluded in ways that you weren’t when things weren’t going so well for you,” she added.