I was dating two girls at the same time but realised it was the biggest mistake of my life

I had recently moved to a new city to work and wanted to make new friends. Since most of my friends were in my hometown and busy with their lives, I felt lonely at times. One day, out of sheer boredom, I created a profile on a dating app and started exploring what all it has to offer.

After a few months, I became friends with two girls. I enjoyed chatting and shared a unique relationship with each. While I discussed my travel plans, work-related problems and daily life with one, the other understood my passion for music, animals, movies and everything else. I knew I was attracted to both and could not figure out with whom I should take my friendship to the next level. But then I thought why not try dating both to understand better and test our compatibility.

Initially, it was all fun. I used to wake up with their good morning messages and my day ended with their good night wishes. As I was more than just a friend (that too with two girls at the same time!), there was a sense of thrill and excitement. My phone kept buzzing with their constant texts and calls the entire day, and I was basking in the glory of winning the undivided attention of two girls.

After three weeks, that ‘rosy period’ of the relationship and the thrill of double dating started to fade. It was becoming a task to constantly reply to their texts and calls every single day. And slowly I started feeling guilty for what I was doing. I realised that I was keeping both the girls in the dark and tried to pictures myself in their position.

After a month, I started feeling frustrated and found the idea of double dating idiotic. I was trying to keep two women happy and surprisingly, was not able to keep myself happy. In fact, I realised I was disillusioned. I did not know what I wanted from a partner and needed to understand my needs first. I was just wasting my time, energy and efforts on something that was leading me and the two other person nowhere.

The thought that I was playing with the feelings of two girls started haunting me and I could not sleep at night. What was their fault? How would I feel if someone did the same with me? It pained me when I thought what kind of person I was becoming. How can I mislead people just for the sake of having some good time in this new city?

I knew I was not a mean person. I realised I was going on the wrong track and making false promises. I picked up my phone, drafted a detailed message about what I had been doing and apologised for my mistake. I took a deep breath and sent the message to both. I was prepared to face their anger and hatred, and I knew I deserved it. If I could undo what I did in the past few months, I would have paid the highest price to get it done. But life is irreversible and I had learnt my lesson the hard way.