Has this happened to you?
Have you ever met someone who seems to be interested in you but is not willing to commit? You both share good chemistry and are compatible but whenever you meet the other person, you are totally clueless about what might be going on his or her mind. If this situation sounds familiar, you need to read on…
The dating trend from hell!
Benching is when someone is not exactly interested in dating you but at the same time, the person does not even want to let you go. He or she tries to keep all the options open and would come back to you when they feel like.
To explain it better
To explain this dating trend better, think about a sports team where you are being benched. Technically, you are in the team but you are waiting for the coach or captain to bring you back in the game. You are an extra option to fall back on when the situation turns unfavourable.
How to know you are being benched
Depending on the kind of relationship you are in, there are several signs of being benched. Your crush might respond to your texts and calls as per their convenience, or talk to you all the time but is not willing to take the relationship to the next level. You both might have a gala time whenever you meet but he or she pretends that nothing ever happened.
What to do?
If you think someone you like has placed you in their I-will-think-about-you category, have a candid conversation with him or her. Get on the same page and decide on how you would like to proceed. Don’t let anyone play with your emotions or victimise you by giving you occasional false hopes.
What to do if you are doing it
If you are the one who is benching someone, it’s the time to be honest and accept that you are trying to play smart. This act might seem harmless but you never know, you might be hurting the other person. The best is to have a candid conversation on this topic and see how it goes. Maybe, the other person is unsure about you, too, and you both can casually date while seeing other people as well. If the other person is in love, it’s the wisest to be truthful and part ways.
How it is different from ghosting
You might confuse benching with another dating trend ghosting. While benching is about staying in touch and keeping your options open, ghosting is when the person completely disappears from your life and cuts off all the contact.
Our advice
The world of dating is already complex and investing your emotions, time and energy on people who can’t value it always does more harm than good. If someone is benching you, we suggest you to bench them right back! You definitely deserve someone who isn’t playing games with you and is not interested in disrupting your peace of mind.
(All images used here are representational)