Why spanking children is NOT the answer to discipline

Misbehaving children can get on parents' nerves, compelling them to resort to various disciplining strategies. However, one strategy that tops the list for most parents, especially those who still believe in traditional parenting style, is 'a good spanking'.

Given that spanking immediately puts a stop to a child's bad behaviour, parents think it is the best measure to discipline them. But what they don't try to understand is how it's likely to affect the child's mind and mental health. That said, before we delve deeper into the impact spanking can have on kids, let us first understand the big difference between punishment and discipline.

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When correcting your child's behaviour, there's a huge difference between punishment and discipline. While punishment is more about making a child suffer for his actions, discipline aims at teaching kids to make better choices.

Contrary to popular belief, punishment doesn't exactly teach kids how to behave, rather it involves a series of yelling, spanking, hitting the child, which only demonstrates the parent's own frustration and lack of patience.

Furthermore, punishing a child NEVER teaches them how to resolve conflict, rather gives light to a more problematic behaviour including aggression.

On the other hand, discipline teaches kids what they can do instead, how to resolve problems, ways to control their behaviour and emotions, etc. It also encourages a child to learn from their mistakes and become better. This is also called positive reinforcement, which helps promote good behavior.

As it's now clear why punishment is a very different thing than discipline, using spanking as a means to correct your child's behaviour is not the answer.

Spanking your child will only tell them that they're bad, but will lack to explain why they're bad. It does not teach children what they should do instead, how they can better themselves, instead it focuses only on the negatives, making the world more scary and unsafe to exist in.

In 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) issued a statement warning parents against the use of spanking to discipline kids. On the basis of several studies, the health body talks about the dangers of spanking kids.

In respect to the statement, pediatrician Karen Estrella, MD, says, “The new AAP statement includes data that show that kids who were spanked in their early years were more likely to be more defiant, show more aggressive behavior later in preschool and school and have increased risk for mental health disorders and lower self-esteem,” as reported by Cleveland Clinic.

Researchers have also noted that children who experience spanking are most likely to carry on this violent tradition into their adulthood, using the same technique to discipline their own child.

According to a study published in the NBCI, parents who were spanked as kids were more likely to demonstrate violent behaviour towards their kids.

Spanking may help stop the instance immediately, but does it promise any long term behaviour change? Not really. This is because spanking does not address the underlying problem or the cause of the bad behaviour.

As per a study conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), corporal punishment like spanking or hitting was less effective than positive reinforcement techniques, when it came to changing children’s behavior. What's worse? They may become less responsive to any form of discipline strategies in the long run.

A parent-child relationship is said to be the most sacred. Spanking destroys that. A child usually seeks love, care, trust and security from his or her parents. If they're subjected to harsh punishments, they're unlikely to have the same amount of trust in and respect for the parent.

This is again most likely to strain children's future relationships, leading to a cycle of violence.

Rather than aimlessly spanking your child, sit them down and tell them what to do instead.

Establish a healthy and a positive parent-child relationship, where the child does not fear telling you anything, even their mistakes.

Use positive reinforcement to discipline your child, where you set clear rules, healthy boundaries and also follow through with consequences. Disciplinary methods such as time outs or taking away some of their privileges may also help them realise their faults.

At the same time, do not forget to celebrate their wins and good behaviour. This way they will learn the difference between good and bad.