It doesn't mean your child is/will become a bully
It can be extremely confusing, and even embarrassing as a parent, if your little one hits you or their fellow toddler playmates. However, as much as hitting is wrong and hurtful, if your 1 or 2 year old is hitting others, it does not make you a bad parent. This could simply be a way for the child to communicate their needs. Children don't fully develop a sense of compassion until about age 3. So, they probably have no deliberate intention of “hurting” someone else.
After understanding that it doesn't mean your child will grow up to be a bully, there are various ways which can help you stop your child from hitting others and give up this habit altogether.
Validate their emotions
You may feel uncomfortable at the sight of your child being aggressive, but instead of suppressing the situation, especially if you are in a public place, you need to address the behavior right away.
Tell your child it's ok to be mad/frustrated/upset (which may cause them to hit another), but “it's not ok to hit.” The idea is to not blame them for their feelings and rather acknowledge them. Then separate those from their actions. It is important to discipline your kid every time they hit.
Identify their triggers
Track your toddler’s behaviour and note what upsets them enough to go in hitting mode. Some may do so when they are tired, hungry or feeling uncomfortable in a crowded place. In such cases, a little pre-planning and being proactive can prevent the triggers altogether.
Make sure they are well-fed and have their snacks ready, especially around the time they tend to get hungry and frustrated from hunger. Lack of sleep can make them easily cranky, make sure your toddler takes enough regular naps everyday.
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Help them express with words
Along with figuring out what could upset your toddler, teach them also to identify and express what's really bothering them. Are they hungry? Are they tired? Are they unable to find their favourite toy?
Ask them what it is and teach them to use the word, instead of lashing out. Many times, their needs or desires could be hidden in their form of aggression. If they are slapping their bottle, maybe they want milk. Communicating with words can help you both. When they do use words, appreciate them. This will act as a positive reinforcement to use their words next time as well.
Don't be too reactive
While it is important to intervene and discipline your child, make sure you do not turn it into a long lecture or make the whole day about this incident. This is because - a) a 1 or 2 year old will not be able to actually grasp enough of long lectures and, b) it can promote attention-seeking behaviour, especially if your child is needing attention, and would prefer any kind of it. So even if you might feel too mad or embarrassed, do not intrigue your child by your reaction, motivating them to act up again.
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Tie their actions to how others could feel
Even if a toddler’s acts of hitting are not intentionally meant to hurt, you need to teach them from now on only that this can hurt others and make them feel bad. This will work on your child’s ability to empathize with others, and learn the consequences of their actions. Along with this, teaching them to find non-violent ways to express their frustration will help to entirely eliminate the habit of hitting anyone.
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