How to spot an emotionally abusive parent

Abuse is not always related to physical harm, rather it can be invisible i.e. in the form of emotional abuse. While it's unlikely that any parent would do anything intentionally to harm their children physically or mentally, often one may say things or behave in a way that could leave a dent on a child's emotional state. But since emotional abuse is not as obvious as physical abuse, parents may not comprehend the damage they're causing to their child's mind until it's very late, which is why understanding what emotional abuse looks like is extremely crucial.

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As discussed, while emotional abuse may not be as recognizable as physical abuse, it may have a long-term effect on the brain and body of the person who is subject to such abuse.

Children especially are impressionable and more likely to feel, even though they're not as expressive as adults.

That said, studies have noted that severe emotional abuse can be as destructive as physical abuse and may contribute to low self-esteem and result in depression. To avoid such circumstances, parents can identify the signs of emotional abuse and mend their ways where needed. Read on to find out what they are!

Having mood swings is a part of life and you can always cut yourself some slack if you're going through a stressful time. However, if your moodiness and unpredictable behaviour is making your child anxious or fearful of you, then it's time to reflect. Lashing out at them, giving your child a hard time just because your day isn't as pleasant as you expected it to be or making them feel accountable for things that are happening to you does not help anyone. Rather it will only alter your relationship with your child and make them subject to emotional damage.

There is something called constructive criticism, which can benefit your child and help them excel. However, if you find yourself hurling insults at or making rude and sarcastic comments on your child, then you need to back off now. Making your child subject to negative criticism and embarrassment will not help them grow at all. It will only take a toll on their self-esteem and over time make them more doubtful of their potential.

Having said that, help them identify their mistakes, guide them to overcome them and learn from them. Most importantly, do not withhold compliments if they do things right. This will give them a boost and push them to work better.

Comparing your child's successes or failures with other kids' achievements can slowly sabotage your child's confidence and their self-esteem. What many parents don't realize is that doing so can also give rise to negative emotions such as jealousy and unproductive competition. This could be another form of mental abuse as children feel in constant pressure to over-perform and prove themselves.

"I told you so," "if only you would listen to me," "you should have taken my advice before it was too late" - parents often use these phrases to push their children to accept their faults. This passive-aggressive behavior helps them get their way the next time their children rise up to resist. Using guilt as a means to manipulate is a very old tactic, which unfortunately works in many cases. But at what cost? Your child may feel accountable for all the mistakes, they're likely to feel emotionally unstable and may even feel that their parents’ feelings are their responsibility.

There's a time for everything! As a parent, you may feel you need to push your child at a young age, so they can excel when they're old enough, but placing unrealistic expectations can do more damage than any good. While some expectations can be positive, helping your child set an aim, high, impractical expectations can lead to frustration, misunderstanding and even fear (of failure).