6 ways to teach patience to toddlers

Patience is not an inherent quality of toddlers; it is a quality that they learn as they go through life. In the early years, children experience the world through their immediate needs, such as the need for food, play, comfort, and attention. Waiting is a foreign concept that is often frustrating. However, the key to teaching patience begins right here, in these small moments of everyday life. By teaching children through the guidance of caregivers in waiting, taking turns, and dealing with delays, toddlers learn self-control. This is not a lesson in discipline but in reassurance and consistency. Through these experiences, children learn that waiting is safe, manageable, and often rewarding.

For toddlers, patience begins with very small waits. Waiting too long for a child can be daunting, but waiting a few seconds or a minute is possible. These small waits are naturally created in everyday situations, such as waiting for a snack to be prepared or waiting for a toy to be passed to them. When children are able to wait in these small moments, they feel a sense of empowerment. Increasing the wait time helps them learn to wait without becoming distressed. These early experiences help toddlers understand that waiting is only temporary and predictable, making waiting less stressful and more confidence-boosting.


Waiting is less stressful for toddlers if they understand what is going to happen next. Routines, such as mealtimes, bath times, and bedtimes, help toddlers feel a sense of predictability that makes waiting easier to deal with. And when the toddler hears, “First, we tidy up. Then, we play,” waiting becomes more predictable than puzzling. This makes waiting easier to handle because the toddler knows that their turn or playtime is coming soon. In time, routines teach toddlers to wait patiently between activities, teaching them that not everything can happen at the same time.

Children learn from adults. When adults model patience in waiting, such as waiting in line, completing a task before responding to a child, or speaking softly when interrupted, toddlers learn what patience looks like. And this is an very important aspect of learning patience because it teaches toddlers that waiting is a normal and doable part of life. The presence of a patient adult also helps toddlers control their emotions, teaching them to be patient as well. In time, toddlers learn to practice this habit, realizing that waiting and patience are a normal part of life.

Playtime is an excellent way to teach patience. Games that involve turns, such as stacking blocks, rolling a ball, or simple board games, teach toddlers about patience in a fun way. Toddlers learn that other people have turns too and that waiting means getting to play again. This helps toddlers develop patience and social skills. Games involving turns are fun rather than educational, allowing toddlers to learn about patience as they play. This is an excellent way for toddlers to learn about patience because it is a fun experience that helps them learn about patience in a safe environment.

Waiting is a big and uncomfortable experience for toddlers. By acknowledging this in children, saying “You’re waiting for the toy; that’s hard,” children feel understood, not ignored. While validating emotions doesn’t eliminate waiting, it helps children feel supported in the process. This helps to decrease frustration and teaches toddlers that uncomfortable emotions can be endured. Eventually, children learn that they can remain calm even when what they want is being delayed, which is a key part of patience and emotional strength.

When toddlers are able to wait, even for a short period of time, acknowledging it helps to reinforce the behaviour. "And you waited so nicely” is a simple way to help children recognize their own success. This helps children associate patience with positive experiences instead of viewing waiting as a negative consequence. Gradually, toddlers learn to take pride in their own patience. These positive experiences help to reinforce self-control and give children the confidence to do it again the next time waiting is required. Waiting, then, becomes a learned behavior instead of a source of stress.