A big change
Leaving home can be difficult for a young adult, but it can be even harder for the parents. Having spent so many years taking care of your child, the change that comes with them moving out – for college or a new job – isn't an easy one.
Coping with this change of not having your child around everyday can be difficult, but know that it's completely natural and everyone takes time to adjust. .Remember that this isn’t an ending, it’s a new beginning. Allow yourself the time and space to process your new situation, and have compassion for yourself while you do. Here are some things you can do to ease the discomfort of this transition.
Make a plan to keep in touch
Just because your child has left home doesn’t mean your parental connection has been limited. Yes, you may not talk as often as you used to, but it’s the same relationship with a twist. Take it as a positive challenge and make a mutual plan to keep in touch.
For some parents and children that means talking over the phone every day, while for others that might mean a weekly check-in over. Discuss it with your child and see what works best for all. Have faith in the bond you share with your child. The distance might make it even stronger.
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Talk with people who can relate
You are certainly not alone in how you are feeling, so reach out to others for support. The person who may understand you the most in this case may be your partner. Have an open communication with how you feel, how they feel, and help each other to wrap around the change.
You can also pour your heart out to your friends or family members who can guide you through the change or who have gone through the same place as you currently are experiencing. Know that if they can deal with it, then so can you.
Bring back THE LIST
We all have “the list” of things we always wanted to do but couldn't because we were too busy. With your kid moving out, you’re about to have a lot more time and energy at your disposal. Take a positive perspective and think about all the things you wanted to do. Did you wish you had time to read more? Perhaps a solo trip? Or you always wanted to have your own start-up? Now’s your chance!
Identify new roles
If most of your life revolved around being a parent, it might feel awkward to not carry on with that role as engagingly as you did before. To deal with this, you need to introspect and realise that you are more than just a parent. Know that you’re still very much a parent, only this role will likely take up less of your time.
You can also work to identify some other roles you’d like to take on. Maybe you want to be a good neighbor or a mentor to someone at work. Maybe you decide to focus on your friends or become a more involved member of your community. Or maybe, it's time you don’t define who you are based on the relationship you share with others. Finding oneself and falling in love with who you are, will help you deal with all kinds of changes in life.
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