Parenting taking a toll on self love? Try these 5 things to stop guilty parenting!

Most conversations with parents start with “I am bored of parenting. I give up. I want to lead my life!” Well, they aren’t alone. At some point in our parenting journey, we all go through this phase. And how we sail through it is what matters. To mention guilt in parenting might seem like a paradox. How can one be bored at doing something that keeps them busy 24*7, and exhausted at the end of the day- both physically, mentally and emotionally?! The truth is, you can feel like losing yourself amidst the daily rigmaroles of parenting, and it is OKAY. It just means, things got less interesting, and we are seeking an escape.

Every parent strives to be the best version of themselves and on top of their game, all day. But remember, parenting doesn’t mean martyring oneself to keep the others in the family happy and content. It is to grow together as a happy unit. The minute it is seen as a chore, that’s when boredom sets in. Here are some suggestions for parents that will help them overcome doubtful thoughts while enjoying parenting more:

It doesn’t matter whether you are a working or stay-at-home parent. You should be a stickler for your routines. Frame a routine for yourself and do your bit to stick to it. Might seem arduous at first, planning etc. But eventually you will appreciate how much clarity it gives you for the day ahead and makes you feel in control. And with time, your kids will learn to respect your time and space too when they see you are sorted in your routine.

Ask yourself, “What is it that you want to do that sparks joy?” It could be as big as starting your own business or something even as small as tending to your home garden every day. Find your calling, and just do it! And even if it involves your kids, learn to wing it in a fun way. For instance, night time reading and Friday movie nights with the kids are my way of reliving my childhood and being goofy with my kids. I remember when I went for my Yoga retreat with my daughter to Goa, we discovered a new side of each other that wasn’t too visible before. Or when she saw me enjoying myself snorkelling in Maldives, she could identify and relate to the kid within me! (P.S. when they see this fun side of mine, they love me a little more!),” says Mansi Zaveri, parenting expert, Founder, Kidsstoppress.

We all need that one person to vent to, to talk to, to just listen to and spend time with. It could be your parents, your ex-colleague, a school friend or a neighbourhood aunt. Doesn’t matter who, as long as you find your comfort shoulder to lean on. Talk to fellow moms, ones who won’t judge you, so you will remember that you are not alone in this. Rise above societal judgements and march on and believe in yourself. Don’t pay heed to naysayers. Learn and grow with the tribe that’s been there and done that!

If you are a working parent and are stepping out for work, make sure you walk some distance enroute or on your way back from the office. And if you are a stay-at-home parent, carve out some time to reconnect with Nature. It could be a short walk or jog or exercise in the community gym or even a 10-minute meditation under the tree in your neighbourhood park.

Also Read: 6 things toxic parents say to their kids

In case you are unable to spend time away from the kids, due to various reasons, learn to involve them in what you do. From helping you out in chores to cleaning the garden and watering the plants to sorting out the bookshelf and toys- make sure you teach the kids to help you out, so you aren’t stressed doing it all by yourself. Also look for fun things to do WITH the kids. It could also be listening to a podcast together with your kids, or reading a bed-time book snuggled in the covers- nothing helps bond better with kids! At the end of it, remember that a happy parent is the best parent. Those little watchful eyes look up to you, and will need you to be happy and give your 100% for them to grow and flourish!