Are you an 'eggshell parent'? Here's how it might not be the best thing for your child

Eggshell parenting is a new buzzword that merits serious consideration due to its long-lasting impact on a child’s growth and development. If you are a parent who is prone to intense mood fluctuations more frequently than others such that it makes your child “walk on eggshells” around you, and if you are a parent who is emotionally unpredictable to an extent that your child feels responsible for taking care of you out of guilt, the term “eggshell parents” is the one most applicable to this context.

Ajay Gupta, founder of Bachpan Play Schools, says, “Eggshell parenting, due to its very nature, is aggressive and is characterised by unstable moods and intense emotional outbursts, leaving a negative impact on the child (who has to walk on eggshells) for a lifetime. When one moment, everything seems alright in the world, and another moment, nothing is alright, it gets difficult for the child to see the emotionally unregulated parent as loving, even when the parent intends to be loving”.

This whole situation kind of reverses the entire parent-child dynamic where the child feels the need to ‘parent’ the parent, instead of the parent ‘parenting’ the child. In most cases, the child might also develop anxiety, depression, lack of trust due to lack of constant emotional support, and amplified sensitivity to criticism and minor incidents, becoming himself/herself prone to becoming an “eggshell parent” in the future.

“Occasional mood fluctuations are understandable, but frequent such episodes hint at deep, underlying issues that “eggshell parents” need to take accountability for by seeking professional help if needed. It’s because every child deserves a safe and secure environment where he/she does not have to be hypervigilant and confused due to mixed messages, risking his/her mental well-being.” says Gupta.

The effects of eggshell parenting last longer than one can imagine, and that too in devious ways. It can severely impact any child’s ability to form interpersonal relationships and build meaningful connections. The more disturbing part is that eggshell parenting can affect any child’s ability to sustain those interpersonal relationships and meaningful connections that they do build. Since parents serve as role models, the child may take unregulated and unpredictable emotions as “natural”, not knowing how else to react in any given situation, and this turns out to be damaging without a doubt.

According to Gupta, “You need to be familiar with every little thing that you might be doing wrong in unintentional ways. You need to take care of your own mental well-being (even if that means seeking professional help) if you want your child to develop into an individual who knows how to maintain healthy relationships”.