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5 reasons why parents should NEVER fight or argue before kids (and what to do instead)

TOI Lifestyle Desk
| etimes.in | Last updated on - Jul 23, 2025, 05:30 IST
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5 reasons why parents should NEVER fight or argue before kids (and what to do instead)

Children learn empathy, communication skills and how to treat other people by observing the dynamics between their parents. As a parent, setting a good example for your child to have healthy relationships in the future is paramount. Here are 5 reasons why parents should never fight or argue in front of their kids:

2/6

Children can sense and internalise anger

Your child can sense emotions like happiness, tension and anger even before they understand words. A study has shown that children as young as 6 months can experience stress by inferring negative emotions through their parents' expressions.
Arguing in the vicinity of your children can make them vulnerable to experiencing negative emotions like stress, anger, depression, and separation anxiety. Children who witness their parents arguing frequently also have problems with attention and academic performance.

3/6

Children learn conflict resolution from their parents

It is not advisable to completely shelter your children from disagreement in the household. Watching parents constructively navigate a problem and work towards a solution together can help children learn positive conflict resolution skills.
The way you can go about this is by making sure that your children observe you and your partner resolving the issue and putting the matter to rest. This will help your child feel at ease and even strengthen their social skills.

4/6

Children may develop a harmful temperament

Failing to contain your emotions and arguing aggressively can make your child believe that such behaviour is acceptable. Avoid things like sarcasm, blackmail, name-calling and raising your voice in an argument so they don’t become an example for your child to learn from.
Not only will this help your child become a well-rounded person, but also help you resolve conflicts with your spouse more easily. It is also a good idea to discuss healthy coping and communication skills with your child.

5/6

Children might blame themselves for your conflicts

Seeing their parents in distress can make children feel confused and hopeless. Younger children often fail to understand why their parents are fighting and blame their own self instead.
If your child sees you and your spouse arguing, ensure that your child feels at ease and understands the reasons why people commonly have disagreements. Addressing the argument will help your child work through any confusion or unanswered questions.

6/6

Children might begin to dismiss their feelings

If your child frequently sees you and your partner communicate ineffectively and resort to fights, they might think that there is no space to express their own feelings and problems. This can cause them to minimise or ignore their feelings from you and experience pent-up resentment.
It is extremely important to teach your child healthy ways of coping with negative emotions and emphasise the space for venting their problems. The best way to do this is to practice this in your own relationship and set a good example for your child.

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