5 ways to solve sibling rivalry without picking sides

Parenting two kids is like being a juggler in a circus, each ball in the air demanding your constant focus and patience. With every toss, you try to keep everything moving in balance. If one ball drops, you, as a juggler, fail. Sibling rivalry is the competition, jealousy, and conflict that often arise between brothers and sisters as they grow up. It is a natural part of sibling relationships and almost every sibling faces it at some point or the others .It can range from minor disagreements and arguing to more serious fights and deep feelings of jealousy.
Here are 5 ways parents can deal with sibling rivalry without sounding partial.

Conflict is inevitable in any bonding. But the magic lies in how the conflict is resolved. Help children learn how to express their feelings, listen to each other, and solve disputes constructively. It is not always possible for parents to come to the rescue; they need to develop their own conflict resolution skills without holding grudges against each other. Teaching these skills empowers siblings to handle disagreements calmly and reach a conclusion without being dependent on their parents.

‘Look how intelligent she is. Why can’t you perform the same way?’ Parents often compare their siblings, sometimes unintentionally. However, this comparison is not always well-received. This may give birth to jealousy or an unnecessary burden of being just like their sibling. Each child is unique in their own, with different needs, interests, and personalities. Make sure to spend quality one-on-one time with each child regularly. This helps them feel valued as individuals rather than being compared or competing with siblings. When kids get individual attention, they are less likely to feel jealous or overlooked, which are common triggers for rivalry. It is more like taking precaution is better than a cure.

Blaming any of the children in front of others can never lead to a solution. Rather, it gives a chance to point fingers and continue the ‘Blame-game’. If the parent can figure out clearly who is at fault, avoid having the conversation in public. This can shame a child in front of their siblings, causing more differences between them. Talk to each of them privately and listen to their side one by one, and then come to a conclusion with the necessary lessons.

Even though it may sound very serious, it’s a healthy habit that not only helps in navigating sibling rivalry but also prepares for the future. At least once a week, try to gather all the family members and talk about the matters that bother you throughout the week. Give everybody a chance to say what they want to say. It’s also an opportunity to teach the kids how to talk about their problems and bring the right points to the table. Establish certain rules and hang these rules in a public space, to remind everyone of their commitment and avoid unnecessary repetitive conflict.

Parents should encourage empathy by asking children to consider how their sibling feels during conflicts. Questions like, “How do you think your sister felt when that happened?” or “What do you think your brother would do if you were in trouble?” This builds emotional awareness at the same time the toddler gets a chance to do self-review, as well as their bonding with their siblings. Sometimes, on the verge of the conflict, people say certain things that they regret when the situation calms down. When they are being remembered and asked questions later, when they are in a cal