Self-love over conformity: Women are redefining beauty

Lately, this writer has faced scrutiny for developing grey hair, hearing remarks like, ‘You should see a dermatologist’ and ‘you should colour your hair, you are yet to marry’. She isn’t alone – women who don’t fit conventional beauty norms often face such judgements.

While body positivity is still a trending hashtag, weight loss drugs like ozempic, AI images and photo editing have fuelled an era of body exclusivity, where perfection is the new expectation. Recently, actress Millie Bobby Brown called out media scrutiny over her appearance, saying, “This is bullying... I will not be shamed for how I look, how I dress, or how I present myself.”

Srishti Vatsa, a counselling psychologist, explains, “Women are conditioned from a young age to fix perceived flaws, which lead to a deep-rooted feeling of never being good enough.”

Honey Gudh, a life coach, adds, “Judgements from family and acquaintances affect self-esteem, making women doubt themselves in social and professional settings.” However, many women now are challenging beauty norms, embracing their true selves and choosing self-love. This International Women’s Day, we spoke to a few women who have defied societal standards and learned to love their so-called flaws.

‘What people call flaws, sets us apart’

Noor Zahira (24), a marketing professional, grew up with dusky skin in a society obsessed with fairness. People advised her mother to use homemade packs to lighten Noor’s complexion, and warned that her dusky skin would make it difficult to find a groom. “This made me extremely self-conscious,” says Noor, “I started buying foundations a tone lighter than my skin colour, avoided dark clothes and used filters to edit my pictures.”

At 20, however, everything changed when Noor landed a theatre role written for a white woman. Her drama teacher reminded her that roles are for actors, not for skin tones. The play garnered a three-minute ovation, shattering Noor’s insecurities. She now flaunts her natural beauty. She says, “What people call flaws, sets us apart.” Noor, recently, also told a relative, “Forget getting a groom – I don’t want a man who values me for my skin colour.”

‘I refuse to let my short height define my worth’

Nisha Popli (24), a PR professional, faced judgement for her short height from childhood.
“I never thought much of it until I saw how confidence and beauty were tied to height,” she says. Short girls like her were labelled ‘cute’ or ‘weak,’ while taller girls were idolised and given leadership roles.

“People’s judgements made me believe my height defined me. At work, I feared I wouldn’t be taken as seriously as my taller colleagues. I was often mistaken for an associate rather than a manager, which made me hesitant to speak up or pursue leadership roles.” This self-doubt became a major obstacle in her career until she asked herself, “Why am I letting height define my worth?” Embracing confidence changed everything.

Now, when someone comments on her height, she simply smiles and says, “That’s fine.”

‘Society may not accept me, but my people do — and that’s enough’

Priya Nambiar (27), a banker, has vitiligo – a condition that causes patches of her skin to lose their colour and turn white. She says, “My condition doesn’t bother me, but society’s judgement does.” Growing up, Priya faced pity, blame and cruel nicknames like ‘cow’ and ‘panda.’ These experiences shook her confidence. “The journey to self-love was tough. In a world that celebrates uniformity, standing out can make one feel isolated. But I’m learning to embrace myself completely,” she says, adding, “Even if society doesn’t accept me, knowing my people do gives me courage.”

‘I realised, beauty doesn’t just belong to thin people’

Gargi Bhave (26), an entrepreneur, no longer cares about society’s judgments. “They say, ‘Kisiko itna bhi mat dabao ki usko darr lagna hi band ho jaye.’ My arm fat, protruding belly, thigh fat – I have embraced it all,” she says.

However, her self-love journey was slow and painful. She shares, “For years, my weight overshadowed my kindness and achievements. Society never let me forget it – side glances, unsolicited diet advice, and movies portraying fat girls as funny and never as love interests. What’s worse,” she continues, “I started looking at myself through the eyes of society. I’ve skipped events, avoided dresses I loved, and rehearsed responses to weight comments.”

Tired of shame, Gargi refused to tolerate negativity. “Happiness isn’t a number on a scale. Beauty isn’t just for thin people. Now, I’m bold, loud and unapologetically me.”

SOCIAL MEDIA AND BODY POSITIVITY

Despite the pressure social media places on women to appear flawless, many have turned the platform into a space for promoting body positivity and self-acceptance, using various trends to challenge unrealistic beauty standards. Body-positive movements and hashtags like #NoFilter, #TigerStripes, #BellyLove, #HipDipsAreNormal, #AcnePositivity and #GreyHairDontCare have encouraged women to embrace their natural body features and normalise certain conditions instead of hiding them.