The lessons Sita and Draupadi's stories have for women leaders

TOI+ recently hosted a special event on women leadership titled "Inspiring Women Leaders: An Author's Perspective" with Indian-born author, activist and teacher Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. Divakaruni is the author of several books including The Palace of Illusions, The Forest of Enchantments, Mistress of Spices, The Last Queen and most recently Independence. Her books are often centred around strong women; and she has written about mythological and historical characters like Sita, Draupadi and Rani Jindan Kaur, who conquered several personal tragedies to carve out a special place for themselves in history. We spoke with Divakaruni about how these seemingly ordinary women found the inspiration to become so heroic and the lessons they have for future women leaders. Q: Tell us a bit about the very powerful women characters in your books. Whether it is Sita, Draupadi or the beautiful Jindan Kaur – where exactly do you get the inspiration to make such amazing characters?A: Each one of my characters came to me in a different way. I wrote the story of Maharani Jindan Kaur in The Last Queen purely by coincidence. I was in Kolkata for the literature festival and as I was sitting there, author William Dalrymple was speaking. And he projected on the screen, a painting of Maharani Jindan. When I saw this painting, I was so taken in by the strength in her face, the history in her face – I could see that this was a woman who had gone through a lot. Then I heard about how she became a queen, how she took over the kingdom after her husband's death and ruled it. Tragically, she was betrayed by her own generals, separated from her son who was taken away to England, and then they were reunited much later. It was amazing how strong she was through all of it. And I said, 'I have to write your story.' Like that, stories just come to me. Watch: 'I want to put women at the centre of my stories' medium nocaption99752994Q: You mentioned in your book that you thought a lot about the character of Sita and you spent many years before you could actually produce the character you wanted to. Why did it take so long?A: That's very true. The Palace of Illusions and The Forest of Enchantments took the most years to write because I wanted to do careful research so that people couldn't say to me, ‘Oh, you just made up this version of Sita!’Even in Valmiki’s Ramayana and in Krittibas’ Ramayana, she is a very powerful character and we've just somehow chosen to forget that over the years. Q: In many of your books, you have shown women holding multiple roles. They're not just homemakers, they're fighting wars, taking care of their children. Could you talk a bit on how women leaders have to balance different roles?A: We really do have to balance inside the home and outside the home. We are often the ones who have to take care of the elderly in our lives. And then of course, we are looking after the next generation if we have children. And sometimes women, even if they don't have children of their own, there are children in their extended families that they become close to and look after. But, I feel that some amount of time should be given to self-care, which we women, very much neglect. I think in order to function well in the world, we have to have a good relationship with ourselves and take care of ourselves.Through the women in my novels, I've tried to show how they should do that. So you know, Sita – she is a martial arts warrior. Even when she has been abducted by Ravana, she remembers her martial training and manages self care through that very difficult period in Lanka.Watch: Why Maharani Jindan is the perfect role model medium nocaption99753039Q: We see that a lot of men have great skills at networking. Is there a reason why women don't do it enough? A: I do believe that we're starting to change it a little bit now, but we need to change more and faster. Because there's a vast network of women out there. I think, originally, or for a long time, the feeling was that there isn't enough power to go around so I have to grab it for myself. But we need to understand that when we share power, we all become powerful. And then we can help each other, we can pull each other up. Watch: 'When we share power, we all become powerful' medium nocaption99753095Q: Coming to your latest book Independence, I wondered why the choices the women have to make are so difficult. Like the choice between marrying the man you love and your allegiance to your family. Even today, women will think twice before going against the family's wishes.A: Yes, you are sadly correct. It's something that we really should try to change as a society. Something that is our strength – a close knit family – can in some cases become a problem for women. The family sometimes really wants to hold the woman back, they really want to say, ‘We will make decisions for you’. But that isn’t correct, especially today, as women are becoming more independent. Watch: 'When a woman is strong, the whole family becomes strong' medium nocaption99753140Q: How difficult was it for you to create Ram as a really likable character in The Forest of Enchantments? Just because a woman is empowered, it doesn't mean that the man has to necessarily be disliked. A: That's part of the reason that The Forest of Enchantments took a long time to write because I wanted to do it correctly. You’re absolutely right in pointing out that I wanted to make Ram a complex and likable character, just like any other character. Sita also has positives and negatives. Sita’s greatness does not depend on Ram being a good person. Sita’s greatness comes from her courage, fortitude and her intelligence, which are present independently. I hope that we have sympathy for Ram – he's in a tough place. He's trying to balance public roles and public opinion, with what he really feels – love for Sita. And he makes a certain choice. Watch: 'Sita is our first single mother, we can learn from her' medium nocaption99753171Q: Women at work and at home are supposed to be very different. At work, it's okay if you're an achiever and aggressive, but when you come home, you're supposed to don the hat of a caregiver.A: It is a challenge. It is particularly a challenge for Indian women, because we have these templates inside of our heads. It's not an easy problem to solve, because we don't want to become what we see in certain parts of the world, where the woman is so busy outside the home, that her home kind of falls apart. I think the solution lies in what I'm seeing in a lot of younger families – where the husband and wife are sharing these roles. This seems to be the healthy way to go. If we are going to utilise the power of women outside the home, then we have to utilise the help of men within the home. Watch: 'Men and women have to be equal partners' medium nocaption99753198You can also watch the full event here: medium nocaption99753261