There was Lady and there was Tramp and the little one was Muffet and she was very naughty
(This is a satire piece)
People who have pets assume, often wrongly, that everyone else must love them, too. And if you do not spray affection you cannot be a very nice person. I visit a friend and he has two African Ridgebacks strolling around the drawing room. They are about the size of lions, with a black central hairline that bristles when they growl and they drool and glower and he says, don’t worry, they won’t attack, just do not make any sudden movement in my direction. Don’t sweat it, brother, I shall freeze here like an icicle or like we are playing statues because you know they don’t bite and I know they don’t bite but do they know it?
Any suggestion that you would be a lot happier if they were shoved into another room is met with eyebrow raising surprise like, why they love roaming free, here Caesar, here Hannibal. Thanks for that, the names are comforting. Couldn’t call them Cecil and Marmaduke. Pet lovers also labour under this illusion that you find stories about their pets fascinating and in this case I cannot even pretend to nod in case Caesar decides to conquer.
People who have pets assume, often wrongly, that everyone else must love them, too. And if you do not spray affection you cannot be a very nice person. I visit a friend and he has two African Ridgebacks strolling around the drawing room. They are about the size of lions, with a black central hairline that bristles when they growl and they drool and glower and he says, don’t worry, they won’t attack, just do not make any sudden movement in my direction. Don’t sweat it, brother, I shall freeze here like an icicle or like we are playing statues because you know they don’t bite and I know they don’t bite but do they know it?
Any suggestion that you would be a lot happier if they were shoved into another room is met with eyebrow raising surprise like, why they love roaming free, here Caesar, here Hannibal. Thanks for that, the names are comforting. Couldn’t call them Cecil and Marmaduke. Pet lovers also labour under this illusion that you find stories about their pets fascinating and in this case I cannot even pretend to nod in case Caesar decides to conquer.