Family photo-op

It is usually at birthdays and anniversaries and definitely weddings when family gathers en masse. Sitting around in little clumps sniping sundry members with pellets of genial malice when someone says time for the famfoto, come on everyone gather round. And the saga begins. First, much debate over where the best place for the shot is, here, no there, with the sun at back, then someone says where is dadaji we cannot have a photo without him and old da is having his post lunch nap so a posse is sent to rouse him and it is post haste because uncle Ramesh and aunty Thangam have a flight to catch. Meanwhile aunty Shubhi goes all shy and says she doesn’t like to be photographed ‘nahin chodo mujhe’, which calls for much cajoling and then Bittu baba, the family spoilt brat, throws a tantrum and mummy Pushpa tells him to belt up which makes daddy Ashok take umbrage and now the parents are arguing. Two cousins drop a glass and it shatters and in this mess dadaji arrives and he is the magnet and bossy boot aunt who is a teacher (every family has one) says ok now men at back, women on sofa, children on floor ‘chalo chalo jaldi’ and Mani says wait Leila has gone to change so there is another delay and Ramesh says we are late we have to go, come on Leila move it. Bossy boot aunt now launches into her organiser mode and begins to shepherd stray members to the sofa and finally there is some sort of vague togetherness and a lot of jostling and instructions to close in and tell taller ones to change places with shorter relatives. When it is noticed that Mrs Barua who is a guest has been isolated and everyone yells come, come you are like family and she says no, no, no I am alright and then uncle Raj who is the swinger in the fam drags her into the melee. Cousin Kamal who is taking the photo says I am putting it on timer and then he rushes back but the timer is too soon and he is caught halfway between sitting and standing and the family comedian has made a funny face. By now uncle Ramesh has lost his cool and cousin Kamal is in argument with cousin Meetu about extending the timer and it is now on 20 seconds and he rushes back and in that interminable time fam says cheeeeese three times and just when everyone suspects the timer has failed and begins shifting it goes click and naturally half the folks are blurred and someone says one more but uncle Ramesh and aunty Thangam are out of the door.