Can sex really be justified as a sport worthy of competition?

“Sweden announces sex games.”“Sweden Sex Games Fake news.”“Sweden sex competitions to go ahead.”“20 participants kick off sex competitions on the 8th of June.”Two weeks of conflicting news around the Swedish sex games recently culminated in a competition after all, albeit not quite as the ground-breaking international event that we had been led to believe.On June 5, 2023, the news of Sweden’s new sex games hit the news and went viral. Whether it was wishful thinking, or that it was just an easy thing to believe in today’s increasingly weird world, or that Sweden has a reputation for unusual sexual practices — there was absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind that this was completely legitimate. The news spread like wildfire and by close of day every news channel was buzzing with the information, vying with each other to bring their audiences ‘scoop’ details on the sex games. medium101301838Within 24 hours, it was figured out that the news was fake, that the sex games had certainly been proposed, and had been unequivocally turned down by the Swedish authorities. But the question worth asking is — is it a sign of the times on how unquestioningly it was accepted? Pleasure principleThe idea being that sexual acts can take place under the eyes of a jury and public, and be judged on everything from “endurance” to “chemistry” to “pleasure”. How the chemistry or pleasure would be measured was unclear, but the idea that “endurance” was a test in intimacy is the most problematic statement I have heard in recent times.That there could be a scorecard for these things — highly reminiscent of an American Pie-style high school competition of 18-year-olds high on hormones — is enough of a problem. But that the public swallowed this idea without batting an eyelid is worrisome in how sex or intimacy is viewed. The competition was conceptualised by strip club owner and member of the Swedish Sex Federation Dragan Bratych. The proposal was submitted to the sports federation in January this year with a detailed if absurd and unreal proposal which outlined the rules of the games.Participants would compete for six hours each day over the course of many weeks with each “match” lasting about 60 minutes. They would be judged in 16 different disciplines, ranging from seduction, body massages, foreplay, oral sex, penetration, endurance, striking a seductive pose, smooth position changes and the number of orgasms within a given time and the capacity to raise blood pressure and heart rate during the competition.Participants would earn 5 to 10 points for different sex acts with additional points for artistry and knowledge of the Kamasutra, which was to be judged by both jury as well as audiences. “Any gender or sexual orientation welcomed” was thrown in for good measure by the organiser who stated that “the incorporation of sexual orientation as a part of sporting tactics will be a groundbreaking development among European countries”. medium101302402Bratych went on to say sexual engagement promotes both physical and mental well-being and there is a real need to teach people how to have good sex because “sex requires training...Therefore, it is only logical for people to start competing in this domain as well.”The Swedish authorities, as I have mentioned, turned the proposal down unambiguously with the Sports Federation of Sweden going on to say “we have better things to do”. Bratych, however, decided to go ahead with the sex games anyway, funding them privately and managing to secure 20 participants from across Europe.The Mail Online reported that the participants were primarily OnlyFans models and adult film actors from Spain, Italy, France, Ukraine and Russia — Britain’s entry had to pull out at the last minute due to “health complications” — with Ziga Sedevcic, head of Organisation Dobra Družba, an NGO for sex workers and the adult industry in Slovenia and the Balkan area, as one of the judges.Participants submitted sexually transmitted infection (STI) tests ahead of the championship commencing and have to repeat the test every week thereafter until the end. They will be judged on the 16 categories mentioned in the original rules with the addition of “aesthetic appearance of the sexual organs” as the competition is live streamed over the internet. Rules of the gameBut horrifying as this may seem, competitions like these have been around for a very long time. And while Bratych’s competition might resemble something from Caligula’s reign, there seems to be a whole spectrum of these with several tamer alternatives as well.For instance, the Dioclean Games of Ancient Greece (300 BC) featured a kissing competition, which was, according to the rules, only open to boys and the winner was the one who could give the “sweetest” kiss. medium1013020861930s America saw a wave of kissing competitions where participants were judged on points of “style” as prescribed by Hugh Morris (in his book The Art of Kissing) who advises: “A man must be able to sweep a woman into his strong arms, tower over her, look down into her eyes, cup her chin in his fingers, and then bend over her face. The breath should be kept always sweet and pure so that, when the lips are opened, the breath will be like an aromatic breeze. Sometimes it is advisable to touch the corners of the mouth with perfume. The teeth should be kept cleaned and polished. Nothing can dampen a young man's ardour, or a young woman's, for that matter, than a row of brown-stained, unkempt teeth.”The first rule of this competition was that it was the men who would do the kissing, the women’s role was to merely be kissed, because a woman participating in the act of public kissing was considered ‘immoral’!In more recent years 'underwater kissing' (couples holding their breath and kissing under water) and 'basketball kissing' (shooting hoops while kissing) have become popular sports. Starting with the Aquafan park in Riccione, Italy underwater kissing competitions are now held across the world including conservative societies like China. Shanghai was proud to announce their championship record for underwater kissing is 1 minute and 20 seconds but the Guinness World Record belongs to an Italian couple who lasted an impressive 3 minutes 24 secs.For some reason, the offending “public displays of affection” have become acceptable when seen from a competitive sport lens with even conventional societies like Japan’s and China introducing “kissing competitions” in shopping centres. Brazil, for instance, has added a kissing competition with some unusual categories —the highest points goes to the man who can kiss a girl through the window of a passing bus. medium101302218Is there a purpose behind these events? Is this society’s answer to removing stigmas and normalising intimacy?According to me — and I understand this may be an unpopular opinion — far from being progressive or breaking the stigmas, these events are reinforcing every single problematic stereotype. When “endurance” is what keeps you in the game and your “score” depends on “performance”, when personal style and flourish is rewarded by a cheering crowd and prizes, where does that leave gentleness, emotional understanding and intimacy? If you’re trying to play to the gallery, who is paying attention to your partner’s needs or preferences? What happens to the role of personal connections?Pleasurable intimacy is not about how long you can last but rather understanding what makes your partner comfortable. Performance is not about what someone else thinks is cool, it is what your partner feels works for them. The “sex championships” may have got everyone excited and talking, but unfortunately for all the wrong reasons.We definitely need to break the silence, because it is the silence that perpetuates the problems. But we need to do it by giving people a voice and vocabulary for their feelings, not a stage to perform on. medium nocaption1013024481. Ups and downs of a friends with benefits relationship2. Are you letting jealousy destroy your relationship?3. Is it okay to have more than one partner? medium nocaption101302467