Not tonight darling!

Sex, it appears, is the last priority for women on the move.
Juggling careers, households, family and friends is keeping most women busy. So busy, in fact, that sex ends up just being another obligation they need to wearily fulfill. So finds a British research that surveyed women in the 40s and 50s. But are Indian women any different?
Says sexologist Swayam Prakash, "Not at all.The scenario is more or less the same here as well. But it has to be pointed out that stress is more the reason for it rather than health factors like menopause. In fact, it is not just middle-age women but also young, newly-married women, who find sex unappealing after they settle into a marital rhythm because they are too engrossed in their careers."
Sexologists, psychologists and advocates find the trend disturbing because at least 40 percent of divorce cases in the city cite the reason as sexual dissatisfaction. "90 per cent of the cases are among the working couples, especially those in their mid 30s. And there has been an increase in the number of such cases by at least 30 per cent in the past couple of years," says advocate CVL Narasimha Rao.
Most women attribute their lack of inclination to lifestyle. "It's not so much disinterest as it is the lack of time. In spite of all the talk about gender-equality, the ground realities are far different for a man and a woman.
After a day's work, a woman still has to cook, be the best mother to her kids, help them with their homework, play the role of host, be the best wife, good friend and daughter-in-law. At the end of the day, personally, sex is the last thing on my mind. I always want to catch up on sleep," says Tincy A, a team manager. Also taking a toll on the sexual life is erratic working hours.
"By the time I reach home in the morning, my husband is ready to leave for work. Sex is postponed for the weekend," says Savita Mohan, a senior IT professional in her late thirties. With all work and no time, men still feel that the onus is on the woman to create the right balance. A feeling corroborated by Kunal Bajpai, an IT employee, who says, "I don't object to my wife's career plans, but I also think there's a right time for everything. And I don't think it is right to weigh career and life in the same balance."
Even though women argue that careers are equally important in their lives, doctors like June E, a renowned sexologist, feel that sex is the most sensitive barometer for a relationship. "The solution is simply spending more time together. The art of intimacy needs time and effort. If that means making difficult choices, such as not working so many hours, then it should be done without delay," she concludes.
hyderabadtime@indiatimes.com