How does one keep the passion alive in a relationship? Hear it from the romance writers

Love, sex and the secret to keeping alive the passion in a relationship were the topics of conversation at the session titled ‘Romance Brigade: Luv, Shuv and all that Fuss’. Participating were three of India’s most esteemed romance authors Ravinder Singh, Preeti Shenoy and Andaleeb Wajid. Moderated by mythologist Seema Anand, the hour-long discussion was a big hit among the audience, many of whom were young fans of the novelists on the stage.
When it comes to how they approach sex in their books, bestselling author Shenoy said she doesn’t believe in adding sex gratuitously, but only when it’s integral to the plot. “Sex is so powerful—it’s not just about the physical act or passion but also can be used to show power. In one of my books, I describe marital rape: ‘As the woman lies on the bed, she counts the rotations of the ceiling fan above her’,” said Shenoy.
Wajid, the Bengaluru-based author of 18 books, doesn’t describe sex in her love stories at all. “Sex is implied, not described in my books. The demarcation between love and sex is very clear nowadays, but it’s more fluid in my work,” she said.
On the process of writing a romance novel, popular novelist Singh believes in falling in love with his character, saying, “If I’m writing a kissing scene, it’s a mental act where I have to imagine myself in that situation. I have to feel and observe what it is like, only then will I be able to convey it to my readers. If I can’t fall in love with my characters, how can anyone else?”
Asked whether love stories need to be tragic to be considered classics, Singh argued that while it isn’t necessary, pain has the ability to create “an invisible bond” with the reader.
Wajid said, “Stories need conflict as well as resolution of that conflict. When a book ends sadly, I do think people remember it for much longer afterwards.”
On how to maintain the spark in a relationship, the authors cited communication, trust and friendship as the secrets to making passion last. But sometimes, they said, it simply doesn’t. As Shenoy put it, “Love lasts forever and ever, but sometimes the partner changes.”