Playing single dad to a special child

Aditya Tiwari is a 28-year-old software engineer in Pune. Like every other techie in town, his work eclipsed his weekends and holidays too. But since January 1, he comes back home on time every evening, and sometimes even for lunch. It’s not a new year’s resolution that’s made him change his habits but his adopted son, two-year-old Avnish.

Aditya first met the child, then called Binny, in September 2014 when he was visiting an orphanage in Indore for charity. A Down’s Syndrome baby, Binny had poor eyesight and couldn’t walk. Aditya tracked down Binny’s biological parents only to find that they had abandoned him because of his health issues. “I offered them financial support but money wasn’t the problem. They just didn’t want him,” he says. He then decided to adopt Binny. But it was possible only after an amendment in August last year that lowered the age bar for single male parents to 25.

Adoption still wasn’t easy for the millennial. “My parents weren’t supportive initially. They were worried about my marriage prospects,” says Aditya. Even the adoption agency asked him why he wanted a child with special needs and how he was going to find a life partner, he says. After a long protracted battle and an intervention by Union minister Maneka Gandhi, the child was handed over to Aditya this January, making him the youngest single parent to have adopted.

Aditya, who is currently on a five-month adoption leave and staying with his parents in Indore, now starts his day with a milk bottle and music. “When he wakes up at around 9am, we play some peppy music tracks because he loves them. It’s a delight watching him do a jig on the sofa.” He’s also learning to cook basic meals for his son and makes a decent dal-rice.

Avnish is a very active kid, but he hasn’t learned to talk yet “I’ve been learning sign language and teaching him so that we can communicate,” says Aditya, who adds that his son will undergo speech therapy next month in Chennai. The techie has also ordered specific toys designed to develop motor skills of kids with Down’s after consulting with other parents in the US and UK on social media groups. And it has paid off — Avnish is now walking with support. When he’s not attending to Avnish’s needs or coding for his firm, Aditya spends his time reading up on DS to educate himself.

The family has also come onboard but Aditya has no doubts about taking on the responsibility when he goes back to his job in Pune. “There’s a crèche-cum-primary education centre in my company’s building where he can enroll until he’s ready for school,” says Aditya.

As if Down’s Syndrome and a family that abandoned him weren’t enough, Avnish’s future is also threatened by a hole in the heart. “The doctors have said a surgery can be done after he turns 3. So we’re preparing,” says the father. “I just want him to have a happy and independent life someday.”