Together in khushi and gham

father, mother, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents — what would life be without them? and what would india be without them all living together, under one roof? the family as a basic unit exists everywhere, but generations living together as one household is unique to india. once upon a time, it may have been the norm in china and japan too but today it is largely an indian feature.and it is one of the assets of an indian life. for one, it forges togetherness. then, there are so many intangibles such as tradition, culture, human values that get transferred to the younger generation when you have elders living with you, sharing and caring for you. this spells comfort for the aged and emotional security for the young, especially through the turbulent years of growing up, increasingly in times when both parents take off for work. i have been a single child growing up in a nuclear family, and i have always missed having people around me. i missed the security of having someone when i needed to be assauges, someone to whom i could bare my heart. these very things inexplicably foster qualities like independence, confidence, inner strength. i have noticed this in people coming from families where at least the grandparents are an inevitable presence during the growing years. it is a wonderful training ground that prepares you to cope with any hardship in life. this is why when indians go out to work in the west they almost always succeed. they are often more disciplined, and hard working, when they come from such family structures. when the westerners get stressed out over so many little issues, we can ride over so many upheavals that beset life — natural, financial, emotional. of course, like everything else, the indian family system also has two sides to it. that is why instances of nuclear families are on the rise. we too are going the way of the west, and every passing year spells a decline in the number of families where generations share not only the roof over their head but the yesterdays and tomorrows. generation 2000 may model their lives on the western pattern but i take heart that everything happens in a cycle. so, if we feel that the indian family structure is on the way out, it will not be long before it will again be the norm for people to live with their parents and children, perhaps even uncles and aunts. the virtues of this structure are far too many to let go of. (the filmmaker spoke to ratnottama sengupta.)