Mahatma Rahul and the fast way

'Speed kills' and 'fast unto death' weirdly sound like the same thing. But as we well know, the concepts belong to two very different ages and philosophies, indeed to two different galaxies.
I made the connection while reading the TOI scoop last week on the secret life of Rahul Gandhi. The reserved young man turns out to be a speed junkie. He retires every Saturday evening to a cunningly camouflaged racing track outside Delhi with like-minded friends, all sworn to secrecy.If Rahul is a swanky Yamaha R1, then R2 is Robert Vadra, who's almost always there.
Of course, the Capital's inner circle of Sabjaantawallas will look superciliously through their Armani shades, and drawl, "Tell us something new, Boss."
If they think they can get away with it, they'll add, "We used to race with his Dad." But the aam janata will look in wide-eyed wonder at the quiet Gandhi's addiction to power in the shape of a Kawasaki Ninja.
The secret of Master Gandhi's tranquil demeanour is revealed to be not transcendental meditation, but transcending the speed of sound in a mean machine. Perhaps he can write a revised version of the cult classic, and call it 'Motorcycles and the Art of Zen-Maintenance'. Even if he has neither the time nor the inclination, it's clear from Unruffled Rahul's just-exposed passion that the monk-like don't have to sell their Ferraris.
Interesting. The wheel has turned full circle ��� or skidded off in a direction totally different from the one ordained by the original Gandhi. The Nehru-Gandhis are not the legatees of Mohandas K Gandhi ('no relation' as Newsweek would put it). Indira never bothered to hide the fact that she wanted to be Empress, not Mahatma. Sonia, with her famous 'No', has managed to be both.
It's equally true that Gandhiji would be out of place in today's milieu. The world's current slogan is the exact opposite of his historic 'Quit India'. The fast today would be only a fashion statement, just another hip diet with the added USP of karmic cool. And, who knows, some rabid feminist might even say that the word 'ahimsa' perpetuates male domination, and should be changed forthwith to the more gender-friendly 'a-hers-sa'.
Still, it's good that Rahul is not Sanjay's son, because his uncle's speed-mania was far more destructive than his Papa's flirtation with fast cars. When he came to power, Rajiv was a refreshing change from his late brother, about whom it was unkindly, but not quite untruly, said that "he would have done to the country what he did to that plane".
So we shouldn't grudge Rahul-baba his kicks from his kick-started bikes, and we should let him go karting without playing the spoiler. He's already paid obeisance to the Mahatma by taking part in the party's Dandi March, so let's not deny him his personal version of Gandhiji's 'fast' track. In fact, we, and his mother, should be grateful that the 'speed' to which he's addicted is not the chemical kind which is the one that 'kills' ��� or lands people in prison in a way quite different from the Mahatma's old
familiarity with jail.
Alec Smart said: "What's the Mallika mantra? 'No sex please, I'm too sexy'."