Win back an estranged pal

Jul 28, 2009, 08:00 IST

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Relationships are extremely fragile and losing friends can be rather traumatic. Read on for tips on how to get the relationship back on track…

Losing friends can be rather traumatic. Read on for tips on how to get the relationship back on track...

Relationships are sacrosanct. However, they are also extremely fragile. Harsh words, thoughtless actions, selfish motives can destroy bonds that go back many years. But a fight is not the end of the world. To err is human, to forgive divine. Take this adage as a beginning and make some serious steps towards repairing a damaged relationship. We present you with some innovative methods of bringing estranged buddies back into your lives...

Take a break

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Pally Kaur, 24, lived with her best friend throughout university and after graduation before they finally parted to be with their boyfriends. 'We've noticed such a difference; we no longer take each other for granted. There will be times when I don't speak to her for six months and then when we do, it's like we've never been apart! You definitely need time apart because best friends are for life,' she says

Show your appreciation

Make time to remind your friend how much you value having them in your life. Send an uplifting text message, email a link to a website they'd be interested in, or post them a card in which you've written some really nice things about them.

Talk about it

'A problem shared is a problem halved' goes the old saying. No doubt your friend's having a miserable time of it, too, so why not take the plunge and invite him/her to talk about the rut you're both in? A bit of honesty can go a long way towards making you feel close again.

Introduce new friends

Consciously or unconsciously, most of us behave differently around different people. Some bring out the best in us; some don't. If the dynamic of your friendship is slumping, try introducing someone new into your group and see what happens. New faces automatically mean new conversations, new thoughts, and new ways of behaving.

Be extra nice and caring

You know how nail varnish sometimes curdles and you've got to give it a good shake to get it looking nice and smooth and perfect again? Well, sometimes a softer approach is needed in your friendship to return things back to their former glory . Show some 'lurve'! Remind your friend what you like about them best. Make a list if you like and surprise them with it. Do something that you know is guaranteed to make them feel good. And do it from the heart.

Interview each other

You know those fun round-robin questionnaires that appear in your inbox once in a while, the ones that ask you things such as: 'What do you have under your bed?', and 'What was your first pet called?' Well, why not make up your own list of silly (and maybe not so silly) questions and ask your friend to answer them. Then when you friend is done you can send him/her your answers to the same questions. You just might learn something new about one another.

Do something special

Everybody needs a bit of pampering: cocktails in a swanky hotel, a glam night out, something out of the ordinary. Investing in a new activity will give you loads to talk about and re-energise your friendship. Doing the same things week after week, month after month is bound to make you bored of the relationship. So take charge and suggest something new and exciting to your friend.

Be spontaneous

Remember that any manipulative behaviour emotionally will work against you. So be honest, be spontaneous when addressing your friend. If you feel angry at being abandoned, express it. If you feel sad, put it that way. Friends like free-spirited responses to pressure situations.

Get other friends to help

Use your gut instinct here. But if you feel your other friends care about this friendship of yours, get them to be involved in some diplomacy as well. Make a short skit to amuse your friend, or develop a short digital video film remembering your special friend.

People love that! Being treated as super special by the clique that they belong to! Go ahead and make winning your friend back a super hit production!

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