Sick of being just a friend?

Jul 28, 2009, 08:00 IST

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It's rather awful when he or she feels for you is strictly platonic emotions. Read on to know why you end up being just a buddy and what you can do to be more.

Read on to know why you end up being just a buddy and what you can do to be more

When you are attracted to a man or woman and want to be in a relationship with him or her, the worst thing that could happen is if you have to hear the dreaded words ��let��s be friends�� from him or her. It is an awful situation when you are attracted to someone and all he or she feels for you is strictly platonic emotions. Therefore, to avoid being labelled the ��friend,�� you need to make certain from the very beginning that you don��t do anything to fall into that category. Read on to find out if you are already in the friend zone, why you might have been put into that zone and how to avoid such a situation.

Signs you��re only a friend

Men and women usually find it very easy to talk to a friend about pretty much anything, with a friend it��s ok to be yourself and feel comfortable. But before jumping to conclusions and thinking that the person you are attracted to is so open with you because he or she likes you �� watch out! You might be mistaken. You should know that you are already in the friend zone if:

He or she tells you all about their problems with members of the opposite sex.
He or she asks you for advice about the people they are attracted to.
He or she tells you excitedly, ��I just met this really great guy or girl!��

The reasons

The following are a few reasons why you have been bracketed into the friend category:

No attraction

Yes, the person you are attracted to might think you��re great company and genuinely like being with you, but that does not mean he or she wants a relationship with you. One reason might be because he or she is not attracted to you sexually. If this is the case, there is not much you can do about it. Different things turn on different people, so if there is no attraction to begin with, you could just appreciate having a good friend and move on.

Different priorities

People have a type and each individual looks for something in their partner that would compliment them. Another reason why someone might like you a lot but only as a friend is because you are probably just not his or her type. Don��t take this personally thinking there is something wrong with you. It just means he or she is looking for something that maybe you can��t give them. Just find someone who wants the same things as you and will like what you have to offer.

You might have been a doormat

He or she has given you friend status because you��re way too nice, too accommodating and too agreeable but only because you want to win him or her over �� and they see through it. You try to impress too much. So if you want to win over the man or woman you like, don��t try too hard, it might turn them off.

Avoiding the situation

If you haven��t yet been given the friend tag, here are a few tips on how to avoid getting into that situation:

Play hard to get

Stop acting like his or her puppy dog and don��t be so available . Don��t get together with him or her at the drop of a hat. Wait a day or two to return one of their phone calls. Be a challenge, not a doormat.

Other men and women

The best way to get someone you like is to date other people. This may not always work but if he or she is even remotely attracted to you, it might convince him or her to date you, even if it is out if jealously. At least you will get that one date to win him or her over.

Ask for advice

Openly talk about other men and women and how hot they are. Ask him or her for advice about how you can get close to these men and women. If he or she likes you, they might just tell you what they want in a man or woman and how you fit the bill.

Treat him or her like a partner

Ask him or her out on dates and flirt with them. It will give them a hint that you are interested in more than just a friendship.

Be challenging

Keep him or her off balance. Be a challenge. Be unpredictable. Keep them guessing. There��s a huge difference between wanting someone and needing them �� he or she will react with a lot more affection if they know you like them out of want rather than need.

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