Old friendships die hard!

No matter how near or far you may have been your childhood pals are forever etched in your memory.
You might forget their last names but you���ll remember what you nick-named the girl who used to get lunch for you in grade six or the boy with whom you had ink fights. No matter what, childhood friends are forever etched in your memory.
As time flies by and life takes it���s many turns, it is not easy to stay in touch with ���chaddi buddies���.In fact, each phase in life brings you a new set of ���friends���- the college buddy, workplace confidante, after work party pals and the friendly neighbour.
But one still tries to find a way (be it through common friends or online communities like Orkut) to catch up with long-time pals. So what is it that makes old friends so cherished? We explore just that...
Time equals trust
It might not take too long for someone to become a ���good friend��� but a friendship does need to go through the test of time to become trust worthy. As they say ���A friend in need is a friend indeed���; one realizes the true worth of a friend only when facing troubled waters.
Starting from something as trivial (though it���s a big issue then) as unfinished home work to boyfriend or girlfriend troubles or the loss of a job - childhood friends go through several phases of life together, helping and bailing out each other in times of need. Partners in crime, old friends like first love are difficult to forget.
I have a friend, Rohan, since class five and he is my best buddy ever. We were notorious like hell in school. I can���t stop laughing each time I remember the pranks we pulled together���, says 24 year old Shashank Tripathi.
He adds, ���There have been so many times that I have been in trouble and he has always been there to help make everything go back to normal. Girl friend issues, financial crisis or personal problems, he is always just a phone call away.���
Ask Tripathi why he doesn���t turn to a colleague or college friend and he replies, ���I don���t have to explain anything to him. He knows me well. I don���t think I share this comfort level with any of my new pals even though I���m close to all of them.���
Rahul Ashta, a management student from Mumbai agrees, ���Time tells you who your real friends are. When we are happy the world is happy with us, but never when we are sad. You surely get to know who the ���fair-weather��� friends are.��� Even Ashta agrees that the comfort level in an old friendship is much higher. ���It would be a little weird to talk really personal things with a new friend, old ones just understand without saying a word���, says Ashta.
So in a relation where even silences speak volumes, do we take them for granted? ���Many things are taken for granted when we sub consciously feel that we know the other person inside-out. In a new relationship, one says or does everything with a lot of deliberation lest we end up stepping on his/her toes���, explains Jyotiraj Hazarika, copywriter.
Rachna Jindal, first year student of Delhi University feels the same, ���I���m very cautious with the friends I���m making in college as you never know how they will react to what I say or do. My school time friends were so much easier to be with as they knew me for who I really am. Maybe that���s why I took them for granted and never thought that something I say could hurt them.���
Tripathi sums up the difference by saying, ���If my car had a flat tyre or something I would call the nearest possible friend, if I had to go and just chill out I���d probably do so with any new pal who���s good company but if I need a heart to heart talk or a gigantic favour then I would definitely think of an old buddy.���
More than friends
You may take long-time friends for granted but you definitely share something special that goes beyond just friendship. How many work place friends do you have whose extended family now recognizes you? Whose younger sister calls you on your birthday? Whose mother treats you with lunch even when your buddy isn���t home?
���Whenever Rohan���s mother used to make chicken at home, she would ring me up without his knowledge and ask me to come over. A bond like that doesn���t happen overnight���, says Tripathi.
Rachna has something similar to share, ���I was recently invited to a college mates home but it felt so weird and embarrassing. She didn���t introduce me to anyone we went straight to her study room. At such times I miss my old pals. I had a friend who lived in a joint family and I knew almost every one and sometimes would visit her house in her absence just to catch-up with her cousin.���
Ankur Singh, who works with a finance company points out, ���With work-place friends especially you rather hang-out at pubs, restaurants, movies etc...I would be surprised if any one of them ever called me home. Honestly I don���t want to go either. That sort of bond is reserved for a few special old buddies.���
The eight hours of togetherness
Yes, it���s a childhood bond that more often than not lasts a lifetime. That���s not to say that other friends are not important. After all, you end up spending most part of your day with your colleagues. And it���s relatively easy to make friends at work. After all, you need someone with whom you can discuss bosses, fellow workers, overtime schedules, your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend and in-laws!
If you can find a great new pal at work then at least your office hours will pass off well and ease off some tension���, says Ashta. Even Hazarika agrees, ���I would love to spend after hours with someone with whom I can share all those spicy tidbits that the office environs don���t allow.���
But what about the ego clashes and competitiveness? Don���t they make it difficult to maintain a work-place friendship? ���Yes, they do creep in big time, especially ego hassles and that sucks���, says Hazarika. Tripathi says with a sour heart, ���Especially in cases where promotion or increments are concerned, office friends are bound to get jealous and ruin their relation.���
Maintaining a friendship
With promotions and job changes, a lot of work-place friends do lose touch of one-another but it is in very rare (mostly selfish motives) cases that such friends maintain contacts even after moving up and away. How many times have you called a friend who left the office for a better paying job? ���This friend of mine at work was very close to me, but when he left, he never called for five months. He called only when he needed a job change again���, says Tripathi.
Singh too shares his experience, ���When I left my previous job I lost touch with most of my friends there, It sometimes makes me feel bad that I don���t even regret it that much. But I recently met a school time friend on Orkut and I���m thrilled at the thought of meeting-up.���
So be it ego clashes, trust issues or pure will, new friendships are not easy to sustain, whereas good old friends mostly stand the test of time and are there to fall back on whenever the need arises, even if you have not stayed in touch for years. That���s probably the magic of friendship.