My Dear Dolly Movie Review : Nothing here worth saying yes to

My Dear Dolly Movie Synopsis: A man talks his boss into a contractual marriage; when she walks out, he replaces her with a mannequin.

My Dear Dolly Movie Review: My Dear Dolly asks you to believe that a woman who has shown zero romantic interest in a man would agree to marry him for six months just so she can divorce him and be left alone. If that already sounds like a premise held together with tape and good intentions, wait till you hear about the mannequin.

Karthik (VJ Pappu) has a crush on Sumithra (Anupama Anandraj), his boss. She's not interested. By coincidence, she gets picked for an arranged match. She's still not interested. His grand proposal: a strictly contractual six-month marriage with no physical intimacy, after which she can divorce him and supposedly never face suitors again. She agrees, and the film never once convinces you she would.

Everything surrounding this arrangement is padded with the most dated relationship comedy imaginable. Karthik's mother arrives armed with horoscope predictions about grandchildren. His idea of romance is placing a jasmine flower on Sumithra's head. Enthralling stuff, yeah. Also, did anyone else notice Sumithra uttering "Karthik" every single time she talks? (Spoiler: Everyone did). Drinking sessions with his buddy run on "girls are like this bro, you gotta woo them" advice that peaked in relevance two decades ago. The film mistakes all of this for relatable banter. It's dead air.

Then comes the mannequin. A bathroom mishap ends the arrangement: Karthik was using Sumithra's bathroom while she was out, she returns and starts changing, he panics, she discovers him. He then acquires a life-sized 3D-printed replica of Sumithra, courtesy of a Chinese website his friend used to cope with losing a child. The grief subplot exists solely to introduce this technology: upload a photo to a website, type in a few details, and a life-sized replica ships to your door. Convenient. Karthik proceeds to talk to the clone over drinks (and also while sober), delivering impassioned monologues that include assuring her he's fine with her not being a virgin, as if that's the grand romantic gesture this love story was missing.

The resolution requires Sumithra to secretly swap herself into the mannequin's wheelchair, sit motionless for a day and a half watching Karthik's one-man confessional, and somehow fall for him. In most contexts, this would be grounds for a restraining order.

At 111 minutes, the runtime is the closest thing to mercy on offer. VJ Pappu and Anupama do what they can with material that gives them nothing to work with. That's about all the kindness this one earns.

Written By: Abhinav Subramanian