There’s a certain air around the French. Call it the air, or an aura – the French represent something that sets them apart from the rest. Whether it’s the top-notch elegance and a signature sense of style, or the innate romanticism, or sometimes – even a thick coating of arrogance, garnished with an exaggerated display of nonchalance.
Case in point – when we say, “Oh, that’s so French!” it’s not always a well-meaning compliment; sometimes, it’s a critique in disguise, and a tad bit of contempt too.
Anyway. Wrapping up the talking points about the French might take a little more than the timespan of the French Revolution. So, let’s cut to the chase.
Why are we exactly discussing the French?
Because, Brigitte Macron, the First Lady of France and the wife of the French President, Emmanuel Macron, has brought the land of Louvre back to the focal point.
How so?
On Sunday late night, the world witnessed a seemingly innocuous moment, shared between the First Couple of France, when Brigitte Macron was seen appearing to slap her husband, the French President, Emmanuel Macron's face as they were about to leave the aircraft.
Although the numerous replays of the video now make it look like more of a smack than a slap, the apparent suddenness of the blow caused the French President to step back before he recovered, and in extension, it got the whole world talking. And despite Macron putting forth his best effort to not let the momentous incident escalate, with an explanation, "I was bickering, or rather joking, with my wife. It's nothing!" the whole world hasn’t stopped discussing it.
Talking. Discussing. And questioning.
In order for us to navigate that route, we need to rewind a little.
The unusual romance:
Now, this isn’t a new piece of news. Brigitte is 24-years senior to her husband, Emmanuel Macron. The pair first met in 1993, at the Lycée la Providence in Amiens, France, where Emmanuel was a student in Brigitte’s drama class.
Emmanuel was 15. Brigitte was 39.
But love knows no bounds, right?
Especially when fed through fictions, laced with rose-tinted glasses!
Cue to ‘La vie en rose’!
Theatre productions became the third wheel in Emmanuel and Brigitte’s budding romance, and despite his teacher being over double his age, the teenager was confident enough to declare, "Whatever you do, I will marry you" to his 39-year-old teacher.
It took him 12 more years, but Emmanuel kept his word.
The ‘unusual’ couple withstood societal scrutiny and familial apprehensions and tied the knot in 2007.
Since then, the marital life has been more blissful than a complete whirlwind.
But here comes a hiccup, disguised as the infamous smack.
Age-gap – the balance-shifter:
We’ve grown up on this apparently eternal idea – when there’s true love, nothing else matters. Love has always been projected as a kind of force that transcends every possible barrier – be it linguistic difference, long distance, social pedigree, financial status, political capital… You name it, love can conquer it all!
Can it, though?
Think about Woody Allen. The ‘Midnight in Paris’ filmmaker, at 69, married Soon-Yi Previn in 1997, when she was only 29. The couple could hardly celebrate their one-decade marriage anniversary before they divorced in 2006.
Or, turn the tables and take Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher as an example. ‘The Substance’ star tied the knot with Kutcher, who was 16 years younger than her. Their marriage lasted for six years before their divorce in 2013.
Yes, we have Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (with a 25-year age difference) and Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart (with a 20-year age gap), married for over two decades, but let’s not forget the heartbreaking separation of Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness (with Hugh being younger than Deborra), after 30 years!
Why is it a pattern?
Because significant age gaps in romantic relationships have a huge potential to introduce staggering power dynamics between partners.
While age differences often come with varying cultural references, communication styles, and expectations, and those differences can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or a sense of disconnect, affecting the balance of power in the relationship, perhaps the biggest blow comes from the aspect of emotional maturity.
Although it’s stereotypical to take age as the ultimate marker of emotional maturity, physiologically and psychologically, our brain begs to disagree, to an extent.
Why?
Because, the brain continues to develop into the mid-to-late 20s, with the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation, maturing last. This extended development period implies, emotional maturity often continues to evolve well into adulthood.
Can the difference in emotional maturity cause a crack between couples?
Definitely, to a great extent.
While we all like to preserve our childish behaviours to bare them before our partners, let’s be real – holding on to that side of our personality isn’t sustainable for a relationship.
The power dynamic in play:
Let’s take ‘The French Teacher’, as we embarked on this rollercoaster with the instance of a French couple.
The French Teacher (2019) is a Brazilian drama directed by Stefania Vasconcellos. The story of the film follows Cleo, a middle-aged French teacher, who embarks on a complex and controversial relationship with Matthew, a student nearly half her age.
Let’s not discuss what happens in the film for the sake of spoilers and the ones who’d go ‘lalalala’ with their hands shutting down the ears, but to summarize the story – this supposedly ‘illicit’ affair not only challenges societal norms but also brings to the surface unresolved family issues, particularly with Cleo’s daughter (Sophie) enatnagled with her father’s death. The film deals with themes of love, identity, and generational conflict, which, in fact, turn out to be major pointers in the relationship.
Now, in reality, Brigitte and Emmanuel's relationship, which has an uncanny similarity with the key aspect of Cleo and Matthew’s relationship (a teacher-student romantic relationship), has endured a great deal.
Having a crush on your high-school teacher can be seen as some version of ‘fun’, until one fully commits to building a life with them. Which is what happened in the case of the First Couple of France.
While Emmanuel’s family sent him to Paris to complete his education, Brigitte, who had three children from her previous marriage, was cautious about the potential impact on her family.
Yes, in reality, she took time to ensure that her children were well-adjusted before fully embracing her relationship with Emmanuel. To support his political career, she even even retired from teaching in 2015, when she was at a prestigious private school in Paris (although, she resumed teaching in 2019).
But one can’t deny – the parallels here are quite.. Striking! Which makes the whole deal more intriguing.
In ‘The French Teacher’, Matthew remains part of Cleo and Sophie’s lives in a way; but in reality – Emmanuel and Brigitte have charted much more of a happier course. After years of navigating the hard way, Brigitte and Emmanuel married in a private ceremony in 2007.
The hiccups in the way:
There’s no paradise without a touch of poison. How could we expect a ‘happily ever after’ without a few hiccups in the way!
While the Macrons have always drawn attention to themselves as one-of-a-kind lovers, they have been featured in a few controversies too.
First and possibly the most gruesome one – the much-criticized romantic involvement of a teacher with a student of her daughter’s age. Although the couple has gracefully conducted themselves over the years, taken all the side-eyes to their stride, and has left the world pretty bedazzled with their ‘age’less romance, their relationship hasn’t been devoid of downhills.
During Macron's presidential campaign, some outlets were harsh enough to refer to Brigitte as a ‘cougar’, highlighting the age difference in a derogatory manner. Moreover, rumors about Macron's sexuality gained momentum as well, which he publicly denied, attributing such speculations to homophobia and misogyny.
That’s not it.
In 2024, a conspiracy theory claimed that Brigitte Macron had undergone a gender transition.
To tackle this widespread rumor, legal actions had to be taken against those responsible for initiating it.
A year from that, now, Emmanuel and Brigitte have found themselves in the focal point of yet another controversy – and quite a sensitive one, where there’s enough space to drag the discourse of domestic abuse and gender violence.
Imagine the scenario had the table been turned. Imagine the scenario if Brigitte were at the receiving end of Macron’s smack.
We wouldn’t have to draw ideas from fictitious content to gauge the aftermath of the incident.
For better or for worse, the reality is different this time.
And in the same reality, Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte Macron have churned out ‘relationship goals’ too many times to keep a count of.
This time again, will they rewrite and make their reality better than any fairytale fiction?
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