‘Better or worse isn’t the point’: Dutch mom breaks down 7 big parenting differences in India vs Netherlands

Parenting experiences often go viral when they feel real and honest. That is exactly what is happening with a Dutch mother living in Mumbai, who has shared how raising a child in India is different from doing the same in the Netherlands.Her story is simple but relatable. After spending nearly nine years in India, she spoke about the everyday differences that stood out to her as a parent. She did not try to say one is better than the other. Instead, she focused on what changes and how parents adjust.“After 9 years in India, I’ve realized that ‘better’ or ‘worse’ isn't the point of comparing; it’s the trade-offs and learning how things can be done differently without judging,” she wrote.Here is an easy breakdown of what she experienced.One of the first things she noticed was how much support parents get in Mumbai.“In Mumbai, the ‘village’ is real. From family to the community in your building, someone is always watching, helping, or playing,” she said.She explained that in the Netherlands, parenting can feel more like doing everything on your own. In India, people around you naturally become part of your child’s life.She also shared that children are more included in public spaces in India.According to her, in the Netherlands, toddlers are not always welcome in certain places. But in India, children are accepted “almost everywhere,” which makes daily outings simpler for parents.She pointed out a clear difference in how children are raised.In the Netherlands, independence is encouraged early.“Dutch kids are raised to be fiercely independent (cycling to school alone at even just 8 years old!).”In India, she said, children grow up with a stronger sense of being part of a group.“In India, it’s about interdependence knowing you’re part of a bigger system. I love the community sense in India, but I do think it's important that everyone gets treated with respect and kids learn how to question authority even in a hierarchy,” she wrote.She also spoke about how her daughter is growing up with multiple languages without any planning.“My daughter is growing up trilingual without even trying. Hearing Dutch, English, and Hindi daily is a cognitive investment I didn't have to plan; it just happened.”Her child mixes different languages in daily speech.“Her main language is Hindi, mixed with Dutch, Punjabi and Bangla (our help is Bengali) words. I LOVE that for her!”She explained that safety is understood in different ways.In Amsterdam, children often move around on their own. In Mumbai, safety means keeping a closer watch and not giving children the same level of independence outside.She also noticed that academic pressure begins earlier in India. She described this change as a “huge adjustment”.In the Netherlands, early childhood focuses more on play and less on structured studies.Another point she mentioned is the availability of help at home in India.“Because the common culture in india of having help at home , I can get help easily but still mostly be with my daughter without getting too much overstimulated.”She compared this with the Netherlands, where children usually go to daycare early.“In the NL, she would most likely be going to daycare from 1 years old. I sometimes fear that she's not getting enough interaction and play with other kids because i spend so much time with here, but it just feels right for now,” she wrote.She also shared that in the beginning, raising a child in a different country was not easy. It felt “very scary” to her. Over time, connecting with other parents helped her settle in.She ended with a personal note about what this journey means to her.“Especially after being a very lonely refugee child, growing up without family in the Netherlands, watching Moana grow up with so much warmth and community has my whole heart,” she said.Disclaimer: This article is based on personal experiences shared by an individual on social media. Views expressed are their own. The Times of India has not independently verified the authenticity of the claims.Thumb image: Instagram