Balayya Unplugged: Here's Balakrishna's sensational rant in Hindi

When Balayya speaks in Hindi, grammar propriety and even logic can go take a hike! Or so it seemed when the matinee idol launched a tirade against PM Modi, speaking at Indira Gandhi stadium in Vijayawada on Friday morning.
‘Bhagawat hogayi, abhi jung baki hai!,” thundered Balayya as he began his speech and went on to announce that he is going to speak in Hindi so that the anguish of Telugu people reaches PM Modi.Sample these gems from his 16-odd-minute-long speech peppered with mispronounce old Hindi movie-inspired titles and hilariously mysogynistic analogies.
‘Hamara har Telugu log ke ragon ragon mein NTR ka khoon beh raha hai’
“Humara Andhra Pradesh bhi aapka Gujarat nahi jis par aap ka hukumat chalasakte hai,” (Our AP isn’t your Gujarat where you can reign as you please) he roared before declaring: “Hamara har Telugu log ke ragon ragon mein NTR ka khoon beh raha hai!” Loosely translated, it means: In the veins of our Telugu people it is NTR’s blood that is flowing! If you thought that was dense you must hear what he said about the ideal wife.
‘Jab biwi palang par soti hai, woh Rambha ki roop hoti hai’
Telling Modi, that he should learn to take care of his home first —meaning his wife — before he tries to take care of the nation, Balayya went into giving a quick gyaan on what the ‘biwi’ he abandoned could have taught him. “Karyeshu Dasi: Jab kaam karti hai, woh kaamwali hothi hai biwi (When doing domestic chores, the wife is like the kaamwali).” Er?
“Karaneshu Manthri: Jab achha vichar deti hai toh ek mantri ke saman hoti hai biwi. (When she gives good advice, the wife is akin to an able minister). So, man is always king, huh?
“Bhojeshu Mata: Jab khana khate ho tab maa ki roop hoti hai biwi (When we eat the food (that she makes) wife assumes the form of a mother).” Eew! But wait, the next ‘punch dialogue’ took the cake: Jab woh palang par soti hai, Rambha ki roop hoti hai (When she sleeps on a bed, she becomes the incarnation of Rambha).
“Kshamaya Dharitri: Jo kuch bhi apan mard karte hai galatiya, woh sab bhi sah ke woh pariwar ko aage chalati hai ek biwi (When we men make mistakes, she bears with us and carries the mantle of the family along).”
In Balayya’s universe, the men clearly don’t have to do much. “Waha se seekh! Sabak seekh, hum sikharahe hai...” he decreed.
And then he peppered his speech with some pakka Hyderabadi...
“Sirf hum Andhra ke log hi nahi, pura bharat aapke khilaf hai, jitne bhi tumhare amit shah-gimit shah hai tumhare band baja hai baju mein, unlogon ka baat nahi sunna.”
Soon, it rained vintage Hindi movie titles and dialogues
“Gaddaar! Namakharaam! Abhi bol raha hun mein, bahar aa... agar logon ki baat sunne ka mann hai toh sun, nahi toh maar maar ke bhagayenge tumhe. Tu jidhar bhi ja, chahe toh bunker mein jake chup ja, bharat mata nahi sahegi tumhe, dafan kardegi tujhe. Tu agar logon ke paas gaye toh logaan tumhe daudayenge, maar peet ke daudayenge.” (Gaddaar, Namakharaam, I’m telling you if you don’t listen to the people, they will drive you away showering blows. They will make you run and beat you).
Guess this is what happens when matinee idols decide to ‘perform’ on the stage of politics. With no retakes, no dubbing help, and no one to give cues, extempore is surely a struggle. But it’s paisa vasool entertainment, nonetheless.