I have no regrets about my decisions: Meera Jasmine

Whether she remains in the limelight or not, Meera Jasmine is still a favourite of Malayali film-goers. While some are of the view that the actress cut short a career which could have been much more stellar, Meera has a different take on life altogether, as she reveals to us in this interview. In conversation with Meera Jasmine, who was noticed for her role as a cop in the recently released 10 Kalpanakal. What's the latest in films?I was part of Don Max's 10 Kalpanakal, where I played a cop named Shazia. It's an investigative thriller and every character is of equal importance. I have already completed Mazhaneerthullikal, which they are planning to send to film festivals, I think. I haven't signed anything else in Malayalam now. You were missing from the scene for a while, are you updated on Malayalam films? What do you think about the current crop of actors?I have not been able to watch many of the latest films though I try. All the changes that have been happening are positive, I feel, in terms of story-telling and performance. Actors today are more natural and it feels like they are behaving, not acting. They are also smart; they know exactly what they want. It's refreshing to watch them on screen, whether it is Nivin Pauly, Dulquer Salmaan or any of the actresses.Is it true that you keep to yourself, rather than be part of the many friend circles in Mollywood? I like people and like talking to them but I need my own space, wherever I am. Even if I'm shooting for a movie, I get back to my space as soon as a shot is over. I don't know whether it's good or bad. But I'm happy in my space, where I get to listen to my kind of music, watch my kind of movies, spend time with my best friends or just sit alone. I have a very good circle of friends, most of whom are from outside films. That space is precious to me.Has this characteristic cost you films?I do my work, and the only thing that matters to other people is my work. What I do outside it is no one's business. To be honest, I have no such notions that everyone should understand me. If they do, fine, that's all. When you are with people who are not your friends, you have to pretend to an extent. And I'm someone who can't pretend and feel suffocated. Already you put on different faces when you are into acting. It's not intentional, it's how I am. I don't know if I was always like that since I started working at a young age, 17 or so. Are you happy with the way your career has evolved? There are some who feel you should have focused better on your career' I'm happy with whatever has happened in my life, whether it's my career or my personal life. I'm 100 per cent happy with both. Happiness is what I create, not something others can create for me. You cannot decide what makes me happy. Some people like to go out all the time. They are happy that way, but my happiness lies in different things. I live for myself, and I'm perfectly happy with my decisions. Also, it's not other people who should decide how many films I should do. It's not about doing as many films as possible. You do one kind of film because you want to and for the experience of doing it, but the next time, you shouldn't do the same kind of film. I have no set goal that I want to act in a 100 films. Some like biryani but I might like kanji and payar, why sympathise with me for not liking biryani? In their own spaces everyone can be happy.Has marriage made you more stable? I have always been stable. Earlier, I never had time to take care of myself. At times I used to work two to three films a month and I often had sleepless nights. I would fall ill but got no time to get treated. Somewhere I was happy with it all, but not fully. It was affecting my health and at one point my mind became saturated. My dreams were always small, to go to a caf' and have a cup of coffee with a friend, or to listen to music alone. Now I have time for everything, to travel too. While in films too, I used to travel a lot but there is a huge difference between travelling for shoots and for yourself. Technically, I have been to Europe but I was shooting all day and never enjoyed the travel, or saw the places. That busy stage of my life is over now and I am not interested in it anymore. So yes, I'm more relaxed and happier.What kind of movie would you like to be part of now? It should have a good theme, and a good director. Abrid Shine is a very promising director and the industry is going to be proud of him, I'm sure. But they too should have a role suitable for us. But come to think of it, I have never had a dream role. People say they want to play a dancer or a warrior but I feel that ordinary people are equally interesting. There are seven billion people in this world and they are all unique with their own characteristics. If the nuances of each person are explored properly, any role can be interesting and challenging. I believe in God's greatness so maybe it's a small role that is going to make me happy. If I get a good role, I'm happy, if not, I am still happy.